The Pagan God Variance

Sacred womb, giver of the secrets of felt,
Mother of all that exists in the Universe,
I ask your guardianship on the virtual felt
and your assistance in my degeneracy.
I celebrate your gifts in honor of you.

This is my pagan chant that I will be speaking to try to win influence from the poker god Variance. She is mighty and all-powerful. All hail Variance.

I won’t go into all the things that would threaten to make me turn from our lord and savior. The temptations of the virtual felt have taken my soul and spit it out into the fires of hell. And the lord shall spite me for my sins of poker degeneracy. But mother Variance will bring me up to her random number generator in the sky and give me the power to live a life of degenerate bliss, at her side.

This has been brought to you by the people at Exaggeration of Life and in no way resembles my true feelings.

I will not do a waffles rant because I could not do it with near the gusto he does it with. I will not place a list of the beats that took place last night because it will not help. I will not move on and be a productive member of the blogging community.

Now that that is over, I can tell you that my SNG quest is over. The ability to move up from $5 without a little luck in the beginning is hard to accomplish. I didn’t do it. It not from trying hard. I grinded out a bunch last night but the fonkeys (the word “fonkey” has been used without permission from the creator) prevailed and left me with .87 in that account. I will try again but I think I will attack it a different way.

I had a chat with George about doing an SNG challenge last night. After talking with him I think I’ll start at a higher level and with a deeper but-in requirement because starting with 4 buy-ins was just to prohibitive to success. I think I’ll start with 20 buy-ins at the $2 level and start over. Maybe George and I can put a side wager on the challenge for some extra incentive.

I played a couple of MTTs last night with little success. I made a nice run on UB reaching 12 spots from the money with a better then average stack until the wheels came off. It started when I tried to push a semi short stack off a hand when I held 99. The flop came A73 and I bet 2/3 of his stack. He pushed with his pocket queens. Now I know this is questionable by me but who calls that bet with an ace showing after I had raised pre-flop with my 9s? I know I was behind but I had shown good cards all night. Anyway, he made a good call and I lost a big chunk of chips. I ended up getting knocked out on a steal attempt as I started to get blinded down. Dumb moves by me in that I should have waited for better hands. In the other tourney, I had a good stack but my pocket kings lost a race vs. Ax and went home with about 40 from the money.

I may or may not play the Mookie tonight. I have the final rehearsal before our cantata at church so I may not be home in time. Don’t let that keep you from playing.

Tournament: The Mookie
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

I found my cell phone.