Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Dude, Where's My Car?

I can’t find my cup. I had it a week ago but it’s nowhere to be found. Not having my cup is not that big a deal because I have ostensibly retired from actively playing softball.

The last time I saw it...err...had it protecting my sperm producing globes was at my daughters practice a week or so ago. I was working with the pitchers and catchers and didn’t want to feel the pleasure of taking one in the nads. It really doesn’t matter, other then the pain, if I don my protective device because the doctor altered my ability to reproduce a couple of years ago. I needed my cup that day. Anyway, I can buy another one. Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and even Walgreen’s are sure to carry the protective equipment that I desire. They even vary in size so that the huge junk bearing men of this world don’t have to fit in the same ones as the pre-pubescent Little League players.

What really bothers me is that I have owned this cup for 20 years. It has literally bin part of me for a long time and I want to find it. I don’t think it makes sence to spend money on an item that I’m not going to use more then a few more times in my life so I’m searching. I’m searching for my junk defender. My marshal at arms, so I can feel safe and secure. I don’t feel safe without it.

Maybe it will make me feel safe at the tables.



After Bloody P’s post the other day I didn’t want to gripe about my misfortune on the virtual felt. For one thing I can’t afford to give a dollar to each of the 6 loyal readers I have (yes it’s now 6). A blow like that to my bankroll would kill me.

Anyway, I won my second Dirty Dozen in a row on Noble last night and had visions of the $2000 jackpot you get for winning 4 in a row. This is the period of time that I needed to find my cup. I wont go into the details other then I didn’t win one race last night. The races were the product of previous misfortune that put me in push mode. That’s life.

Thinking that Poker Stars would be a better place for my protection I jumped into Some SNGs. Lets just say 0-4. The random acts of violence to my groin were continued without cause and with prejudice.

I thought hitting the $25 NL tables may help me get my focus back and it did. The only problem was that my focus returned after dropping 2 buy-ins on two outers. Crap, now I owe you a dollar. Anyway, I turned it around a little when I hit the nuts while sitting behind a maniac. He doubled me up thus leaving me down about $40 for the night.

I’ll be busy for the rest of the week so I wont see a lot of poker. Maybe one late night session but that’s it.


I forgot to mention that I put a guy on tilt when I raised with 94 off suit before the flop. I hit 4 to a flush and it cost him a $25 pot. Within three orbits he went from table leader with $57 to bust. To bad it wasn't the hammer.


cc said...

Your cup fetish may mean that you have deeper psychological problems. I'll let others provide their input on what Freud would say on the matter.

The Poker Enthusiast said...

It's not so much a fetish but more like a desire to be pain free both playing ball and playing poker.

Bloody P said...

Put a stitch in your gash, you whiner! Jeez, if I have to hear one more bad beat story...

I keed.

Feel ya on the SnG action. I'm basically at break even status the past couple of days (my favorite hand was my pocket jacks drawing to a lower full house than pocket queens!).

Oh, and for more nut protection action, check out everyone's favorite MN Twins Blogger, Bat Girl for this gem:


Haley said...

Ehh, rumor has it that Bobby Bracelet just uses two of those cups, plus a hunk of PVC and a roll of duct tape.

Of course, I think he's the one that's been spreading the rumor...