Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Stupid Stuff

My 4-year-old son is already a sports fanatic. If there is a game on TV he wants to watch it. This includes loading up any of my EA Sports games and having the computer play against it’s self. Is this strange? Has his logic been skewed by my insatiable thirst for the lazy boy, a cold beverage, and the remote control. I know that I’m a great influence.

Yesterday my wife says that our daughters are becoming me. They come home from school and immediately look for a snack and wrestle each other for the remote. Even though M is 2 years younger I think she’ll taken L best 2 out of three falls every day of the week. She is wiry strong and doesn’t give up. Anyway, I view this as a compliment as my children see me and want to be like me. Now I have to stop being lazy and get off my ass while I still have time to influence their future behavior.

So with my trip to Florida rushing in a break-neck speed, the lovely wife reminds me that the kids would like to see a ball game while we are down there. Now being somewhat of a fan, I had already looked into seeing a Braves game during the drive south. The only problem was that their game times didn’t align well with our travel schedule so I let it go. But wait. Isn’t there a semi-pro team in Tampa Bay? You know, the Devil Rays. To make a boring story short, I have tickets for the Devil Rays home opener on Monday. Section 149 rows JJ. I would find it hard to believe I could get 8 seats together for any other home opener in the country this close to game time. Each of us will even get a free mug and a chance to win more prizes.

For the most part this trip will be our first vacation as a family that didn’t revolve around me playing ball. We’ve been all around North America but only because of softball. Look at the places. Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Victory British Columbia, Nova Scotia, Las Cruces New Mexico, College Station Texas (go Aggies), and many others. We even scheduled our trip to Disney World to coincide with the AAU World Series. I’m not sure how I’ll react driving across the country without having my equipment bag getting in the way. At least I’ll have a high quality baseball game to easy my withdrawal.

I’m working on a project for work that is taking up a major chunk of my time. It is a result of inadequate communication between the production manager, engineering, and I. It also involves ignorance on my part. So basically I have to reinvent the hardware assembly line process for the purpose of assuring quality. In a nutshell I’m taking every product we create hardware boxes for and taking the paper system and converting it to an electronic system. I figure it will take about two months to see it to completion if everything goes well. I meet with the boss the Tuesday after I get back to promote my idea. I guess I’ll take work with me on the trip. If I only had a laptop!

Since the beginning of this blog I have written a few stories about my life as I experienced it. I will continue to do this from time to time as a way to freely express these things that have influenced me. This is not always a poker blog. It is about life and poker. Please feel free to express your feelings on both.

When I started this post I was thinking of writing an uber-post that would take hours to load from the shear magnitude of mind-altering inconsequential dribble it contained. But as I move along I realize that I don’t have the eloquence of the good
Dr. or the fluidity of Joe Speaker. How can I compete with their prose? I also lack knowledge of the game itself and thus feel unable to post quality articles on theory and/or new ideas. So I just ramble.

Who is the Poker Champ?

My first attempt into live blogging wasn’t very fun. Trying to express the situation with detail while staying focused is hard to do. I don’t think I did it.

We are driving to Paducah, KY Thursday night. In the morning we will travel to Chattanooga, TN to see the train museum and continue on to Douglas, Georgia to stay with a friend Friday night. Then we will arrive at Apollo Beach, FL some time Saturday afternoon. We will then hit the beach and burn our albino skin in such a way that I will be mistaken for a lobster or any other bright red object. Good times for all.

With my luck I’ll step on a fire ant and be engulfed by a brooding mass of the pain inducing insects. This happened on my trip to College Station but not to me. One of my teammates set his equipment bag on an anthill and they swarmed like killer bees. I really enjoyed the little red welts that grew on his legs. They made me laugh at his misfortune.

I almost got kicked out of a game one time for describing the length of my penis to an umpire. He said the ball bounced up and hit me in the crotch during a bunt attempt and I told him my groinal region is big but not that big and that it didn’t hit me. He wasn’t amused.

Along those same line I tried to get kicked out of a game at the ISCII Tournament of Champions a couple of years ago. I want to see if this idiot umpire would toss me if I didn’t swear. I made mention of his bad officiating and he glared at me with a look of disdain. I expressed concern for his sex life considering whatever sexual orientation he had and wondered out loud if his mother had apologized for what she had done. He wouldn’t throw me out. I walked back to the dugout dejected and alone. After the game the shortstop from the other team wanted my autograph. I charged him $5.

One of the girls on L's team is named Rhiannon. You think her parents like Fleetwood Mac?

I wanted 1,000 words and I got it.

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