Never Give Up

Tenacity, persistence, and perseverance. These three words are some of cornerstones of my competitive life as well as my life in general. They are what drives me and makes me better in all facets of my life. Sure, my family is the most important thing but those things made me what I am today. Now stick with me as I get through some needed information.

Tenacity is many things. It is tending to stick firmly to any decision, plan, or opinion without changing or doubting it as well as difficult to loosen, shake off, or pull away from. It also means capable of absorbing and retaining a large store of information and of recalling details accurately. And finally it means holding together tightly or fused solidly.

Persistence is the quality of continuing steadily despite problems or obstacles as well as continuance of an effect after its cause has ceased or been removed. So in essence persistence is someone who works through walls to get to the other side if need be.

Perseverance is a steady and continued action or belief, usually over a long period and especially despite difficulties or setbacks. It is often associated with religion or Christianity but can be seen in many other areas of life.

Together the use of these three words is what drives people to greatness. Now I’m not saying that I’m an achiever of greatness but that I am driven by these forces. Greatness isn’t something a person can design on their self but must be generated by the observations of others. If Michael Jordan didn’t play in the NBA but was still a great player who never got a chance because of some misfortune, would we consider him great?

So where am I going with all of this?

Being the person I am I have worked through adversity in many aspects of my life. Being without a job last year was a trying time in many different ways. Playing ball for two years with a torn labrum because I loved playing ball and didn’t care if it hurt so bad I could cry when I threw it hard. Playing in 95 degree heat because I won’t let it bother me even if I want to throw up. Fighting threw all adversity because of the three words above drive focus.

Being 39 years old is not a negative thing. I’ve gained weight, gotten slower but smarter and generally live with some pain at all time because of the abuse I put my body though. I’ve had a great life and wouldn’t change any of it unless it was to do it again.

So back in late October or early November I played in a charity soccer game. I played very well and a few of the guys asked me to play on their team. Well a few weeks ago I was asked to play in a winter league that started tonight so I jumped at the chance because I love the game and it was a chance to play.

Now I played goalie my whole life from the time I was a little Enthusiast until I left college. So I show up to play and I’m going to split time with another guy so I don’t play other than a few minutes during the first 20 minute half. The second half starts and I’m on fire. I make a few good saves and stop two balls that were headed into the corner of the net. But after 10 minutes I have to take myself out of the game because I’m exhausted.

I can’t catch my breath. For 7 minutes I laid on the ground trying to suck all of the oxygen out of the atmosphere so that my heart would stop trying to break though my chest. This is a new fell for me and one that I don’t like.

Let’s go back in time to around mid Septemeber. This was about the time that I started having problems staying awake when I got home from work. I figured it was part of getting used to working again. It didn’t dawn on me that something else could be wrong. The issue has gotten worse but I chose to ignore the tell tail sign that something may be wrong. I’ve even gotten to the point that driving home is testing my stamina at times. And dozing off during poker right after I start a table cannot be good.

I used to work through any physical issue with guts and determination. Being tired didn’t mean that I gave up but meant that I worked harder and focused more. Now I’m realizing that this is not possible because either I’m so out of shape that I could have a heart attack at any minute or that I have a physical ailment that needs to be brought to a doctors attention.

I will be calling the doctor tomorrow to make an appointment because I am truly scared by what occurred last night. This sort of thing should not happen to a person my age.

And yes I do struggle at times to keep my eyes open for short periods of time because an overwhelming desire to sleep comes over me. It may be narcolepsy (Narcolepsy may be associated increased body mass index and disturbed nighttime sleep.) but that’s not all of it and I don't think that is it. Hopefully this nothing other then a fat guy trying to play like a skinny guy.