Los Angles and Sickness

I guess I missed a lot while I was gone. I mean waffles won a blogger event so hell must have frozen over. Anyway, my trip to LA was uneventful other then the 2 ½ hour delay because of some issues with the jet. Then you add the 50-year-old women sitting next to me who wouldn’t stop talking. I eventually put on my headphones and listened to music to avoid her rambling. I ended up getting home around 11 pm, tired and a little under the weather.

Saturday was a day of practice for Speedy Enthusiast followed by a delayed Easter dinner for all my wife’s relatives. By the time we got to the in-laws house around 12:30, I was feeling terrible with a fever and no appetite. I spent the whole time sitting in the living room trying to fall asleep. Later in the afternoon, Softball Enthusiast had a practice game so we headed to the ball park for some softball fun. Now it’s almost 80 degrees but I’m cold and end up with a blanket before the end of the game. I shivered uncontrolled for the last inning as my body tried to warm up.

Sunday wasn’t much better. I took a couple of Advil in the morning as I was walking out the door to go to Softball Enthusiast tourney. It helped some but I wore a jacket for much of the day. The girls played well and went undefeated in three games so it was very good day for ball. My daughter threw well. She had 10 strikeouts in 5 innings of work and threw the ball stupid hard. I’m not sure how hard she was throwing but it was the hardest I’ve seen her throw.

That brings today and trying to deal with the continued sickness that has attacked me. I have that clammy feeling as my body goes from slight fever to sweating it out. I want to crawl into my bed and pass out. I’ve dozed off a few times already today and may take a nap at lunch.

I have a couple of reviews to write so I’ll try to get them done tonight.

Have a better day then me.

99 is Gold in the Mookie

It was a fun night at the Mookie and even thought I didn’t cash I made a deep run and played well for the most part. The best hand of the night happened when I held 99 in middle position and raised to 660. I had been playing tight aggressive so I fidured to take the pot down without a fight. But then waffles pushes his 1.7K stack over the top so I tanked a bit and ultimately made the call. Overall I was getting about 2.5 to 1 on the call and feared only 5 hands which he may have been holding. But with his stack size and the fact he was making a deep run in a Razz tourney, I felt he could just be trying to double or steal the pot. Even with the call I have a healthy stack. He flips over JJ. JJ are not ok as I spike a 9 and send him to his Razz tourney. Very lucky hand for me I gave me a chance to go card dead.

The funniest hand of the night was actually a series of hand that I got involved with Papi Justify. He is a very aggressive player and thankfully he was on my right. He had raised my blinds a few times and I made a decision to come back over the top with any two cards because I felt he was being way to pushy. So I’m on the BB and look at 94. It is folded around to him and he makes his standard steal raise and I pop it all-in. He says he has A10 and fold. I show the resteal because I want him to know I will not be pushed around. (thanks goes to smokkee)

Next hand I get AK and take down a nice pot followed by QQ. Papi raises to 400 and I come over the top to 1300. I’m really liking the rush at this point and he calls. It may have been a tilt call because I just become uber aggressive the last 3 hands but when he checked the flop I bet out and he folded. From that point forward he slowed way down on my blinds and I gave him some respect when he raised me.

Lets move on to much later when I have been blinded down. I did the best I could to steal a pot here and there but it was hard to get into a pot. Anyway, I folded a winner when there was a raise and a re-raise in front of me. I was sitting on the BB with AQ so I dumped it but was left with 2.6K. Would have tripled up. Anyway the next hand I get K6 and push when it is folded to me. Cmitch calls with A7 and a big stack of chips but I out draw him and get some room to work. Next hand I get AJ and raise hoping to start a new rush but Mookie pushes and I have to let it go. From this point on I stay between 4K and 8K and continue to move closer to the final table.

My down fall was trying the old re-steal on matt. He had KK and I was priced in with JT suited. Kind of a dumb move but from the BB is often successful. Just bad timing. So I got knocked out around 11th or something. The totals say one major suckout, one minor suckout, many steals with good and bad cards, and one bonehead play that sent me to the rail.

Congrates to the cashers.

Tonight is the Riverchasers event #8. Play it if you want to try and move up the leader board but I won’t be there. I will be flying to California when it starts and unless they have internet on the plane, I won’t be able to play. Oh well.

Have a great day.

Making a Nice Run and Playing the Mookie

The brilliance that is my company made the decision to leave for California on Thursday instead of Friday so I’ll be arriving at LAX around 9:00 PM. We then have to drive to Camarillo so I have no chance to play the Riverchasers event. I also won’t get home until after 9:00 pm on Friday so It will be a poker free couple of days.

Tonight is the Mookie so be there at 9:00 central time. It is the next event in the BBT so take your chances to win some money and move up on the leader board. Also, play the riverchasers event on Thursday because it is more of the same.

Tournament: The Mookie
Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Wednesday. 10pm ET
Buyin: $10+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Tour Event #8
When: Thursday, April 19th, 9:00pm ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $10 1
Password: riverchasers8

I did play a little poker last night is that’s what you call my attempt. I played two sngs with one cash before being bounced from the Token Frenzy without the prize. I moved to Razz and another cheap buy-in HE tourney and didn’t do much to speak of. At one point, I played some Anti-Stud High with waffles. He was grinding the cash table so I jumped on for some donkey chasing fun. We eventually moved to a 1/2 table and I hit one big hand that got me back to even for the night.

At around 10:30 I saw a tourney starting so I threw my money in there and gave it a shot. 3 1/2 hours later I was knocked out in 18th place after trying to push a run of cards for one more hand. I had been card dead for a while and just got moved to a new table. The massive chip leader was sitting across the table and was raising every other hand. I was sitting in 15th of 19 players at the time this hand occurred.

Seat 1: pokerenthusiast (30,226)
Seat 2: Oinland (147,917)
Seat 3: THOMASFRIEND (77,160)
Seat 6: 6138 (45,362)
Seat 7: trav60_us (423,760)
Seat 9: kimnms (46,292)
pokerenthusiast antes 500
Oinland antes 500
THOMASFRIEND antes 500
6138 antes 500
trav60_us antes 500
kimnms antes 500
kimnms posts the small blind of 2,000
pokerenthusiast posts the big blind of 4,000
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [9s Td]
Oinland folds
THOMASFRIEND folds
6138 folds
trav60_us raises to 9,000
kimnms folds
pokerenthusiast calls 5,000

Everyone is afraid of this guy. He is pushing his chips around and stealing pot after pot. I call here because I figure a push will induce a call.

*** FLOP *** [Ac 7c Th]

This gives me 2nd pair. He has shown he will raise with any two so I make a preemptive strike to take his chips.

pokerenthusiast bets 20,726, and is all in
trav60_us folds
Uncalled bet of 20,726 returned to pokerenthusiast
pokerenthusiast mucks
pokerenthusiast wins the pot (23,000)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 23,000 | Rake 0
Board: [Ac 7c Th]
Seat 1: pokerenthusiast (big blind) collected (23,000), mucked
Seat 2: Oinland folded before the Flop
Seat 3: THOMASFRIEND folded before the Flop
Seat 6: 6138 folded before the Flop
Seat 7: trav60_us folded on the Flop
Seat 9: kimnms (small blind) folded before the Flop

This may not be the best move but I think he makes his raise with just about any 2 cards.

The next hand I get AQ suited in the SB. There are 2 limpers in front so I pop it to 20K or just under half of my stack. All fold and I move up to 58K. Now at this point I’m 8th with 18 left but I have 1/3 of the stack that the #7 player has. Do I sit back to make a final table or do I try to get in a position to win? I want to win.

The next hand I get AT and it’s folded to me on the button. I raise to 20K and the SB calls. He has me covered by a lot so what does he have? I have no read at all. Anyway, the flop comes out and he makes a small bet into the pot. This is either a stealing value bet or he has a monster. The flop was J high and I saw it as a blocking/steal bet so I pushed into his QQ. No suckout came and I’m done. Though It may have been a questionable push by me, my opponent was getting 2-1 on a call for ½ his chip stack. If he misses with AK or AQ he will probably fold to my aggression.

The real story to this tourney was using what appeared to be a very tight image to re-steal pots to keep me moving along. I had two small runs of cards that didn’t help me very much. Everything else was pure gut check time. JL514 was railing me when I made a big push with JT after 4 limper tried to see a flop. It was a squeeze that chipped me up just when I needed it after they all folded. It wasn’t a big win but it was playing the game with less then stellar cards and being successful.

I Could Throw Out A Wffles Like Rant But I Won't

I could go into a long rant about how I’m in a crappy mood but I won’t. Some of the inequities of life have just jumped into the path so I’m side stepping them to avoid falling over. I’m on life tilt today so maybe I will rant.

It looks like I’ll have to go to California on Friday. I found this out yesterday and it looks to be a one day trip. I guess there is nothing like leaving the house early in the morning to fly for 4 hours, get in a car and drive for 2 hours, have a meeting and lunch and then reverse the process until I get home. So there you have it…10 hours of travel time plus the time spent waiting to travel just so we can have a 1 hour meeting and lunch. There better be some good food involved or I’m gonna get really pissed.

So I will be flying into LA sometime Friday morning in an attempt to smooth over the rough edges of business. The sales guy who works this account is leaving and I have to help reassure that we can continue to produce a quality product. Blah, blah, blah. You know we can’t continue to produce a quality product if the sales guy leaves. He is so instrumental in getting the product out the door. Friggin idiots.

So now that another guy is leaving I wonder how much of his job will be dumped into my lap? They still have not replaced anyone who has left and thus we have a group of people doing things they were not trained to do and becoming disenchanted with their jobs. I fit that description very well. Anyway, it sucks and I didn’t sign on for this crap.

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Speedy had softball practice last night and like most night one of the parents decided that we should be a baby sitter for 20 minutes because the show they were watching on tv wasn’t over yet. I don’t have many request from parents other then have your kids there on time and be there on time to pick them up. By the time I left the field I had 10 minutes to get to a meeting eat dinner and get my daughter to Girl Scouts. Friggin idiots.

At least my meeting was at the same place that Girl Scouts was at. I eventually ate dinner around 8:30 which is part of the reason my stomach keeps growing. Eating that late at night is bad for you and I already have more then enough vices in my life. Friggin poker.

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There was no way I was going to play last night. For one thing it was Monday and I don’t play Mondays but pissed of as I was I would have tilted away a good chunk of my money. I did sit back and watch some of Hoy’s event just because I’m a loser and have nothing better to do. I saw some wonderfully bad play at times as guys really think calling a raise and a re-raise with AJ is a great play. I did get to see hoy get busted with K5 vs. his A7 so railing the tourney was worth it.

That’s it, I’m done. This could take up pages of text so I better stop here before I go nuts.

I really don’t care if you have a great day.

Donkament Action is Fun

Friday night is a normal poker night for me. Most nights I will start playing around 8:30 or so and stop between midnight and 1:00 so that I’m not to comatose on Saturday morning. So Softball Enthusiast had practice at 6:00 and after I dropped her off I came home and signed up for the Donkament, you know, the $1 re-buy tourney that is full of crazy play and fun. Anyway, my wife is kind enough to pick up my daughter so I can have some donkey poker fun at 8:00.

I chipped up early to 5000 chips before giving them all back and having to re-buy because I played like an idiot. But that’s what this is about isn’t it. Any way at the first break I have 3500 after taking the add-on. Early in the second hour I called a 3x raise with pocket 7s and hit a set and doubled up. I then lost it back when I hit trips on the flop but my opponent caught a flush on the turn. I doubled back up a couple of orbits later when my pocket 10s held up vs. the tournament directors A10. This seemed to be the way of the night overall as I would gain chips and then loose them over and over again.

Armed with a below average stack I gave away chips when I slow played a good hand into someone’s trips. But the poker gods rewarded me by giving me pocket aces the next hand to double up again. So then I raised a few hands in a row to try and continue the rush and took down some blinds to get my stack back to the previous level. It then became a good time for a set and I doubled again to get to 11K and a chance to start working.

At this time we have 10 players left in the event and even though my stack keeps moving around I think I have a good shot if I start playing solid poker. Then I made a stupid re-steal attempt because I was tired of being raised by a particular player. I pushed his 3x raise with my 42 off suit and he calls with his AQ. I really thought it was a steal and could push him off his hand but oh well. So now I’m at Any Two Cards time and push with 67 and double up. And push again to take the blinds. Then we get to the final table.

Seat 1: SirFWALGMan (12,830)
Seat 2: BuddyDank (11,905)
Seat 3: mookie99 (12,525)
Seat 4: BrainMc (24,520)
Seat 5: Alf Eleven (11,320)
Seat 6: pokerenthusiast (3,250)
Seat 7: Pokerwoolf (20,825)
Seat 8: Acornman (21,490)
Seat 9: Ingoal (14,335)



As you can see I’m short for the world. I was down to 1K but lucked into making it to the final table. Anyway, with this stack I’m still at ATC and I push with 97 suited and double up to 5600. A few hands later I get KK and double to 12K and now I feel good. I’ve really luck-boxed my way and you never know what could happen. I chipped up a little when I get JJ in the BB. Waffles makes a raise and I hoy him and he folds. This bets me to 19K and in a virtual tie for third with 6 left. I gave some of it back when I had pocket 8s and the chip leader, pokerwoolf, came over the top of my raise. I wasn’t ready for a coin flip but it may have been a bad fold. Anyway, I was 3rd with 4 players left when waffles ran A7 in AA as we get down to 3. A short time later I get the hammer but AJ sucks out and I luck into 3rd place in the Donkament.



I also played a Razz tourney and bubbled the money on the final table. The part that pisses me off the most is miss reading my hand and costing my self a crap load of chips. I wont go into details but it was pure stupidity.

With nothing but time on my hands I jumped into a 90 peep tourney. I should actually play more of these because they work well with my game but I just haven’t gotten around to doing it. Waffles is at my starting table which is always fun. Anyway, I chipped up to 7K early on back to back hands when I got KK and AK suited. I then went 25 minutes before playing another hand. Repeat the last sentence again and you will see an hour of my play. I had utter junk and only bought a couple of blinds in that time before catching JJ. I hit trips and a big stack called with second pair to put me at 10K. I stayed afloat by stealing from time to time but as we reached the final table bubble I caught KJ on the button. I pushed them right into aces and I was done.

Overall it was a good night of poker and I had some fun at the Donkament. Around this time I saw that Hoy was in a Bracelet Race and doing well. I railbirded him as he moved through the field and won another chunk of cash of the tournament We Shouldn’t Of Provoked. The best line from him was when he tried to steal with T4 and his opponent eventually calls with KJ for his tourney life. Hoy catches a 10 to bust the guy and says” you deserve to lose calling with KJ”. Great stuff.

I also watched a little Token Frenzy the other night as many bloggers were trying for the Big Game.


That's a lot of windows open.

ER, Friday the 13th and Friday Poker Fun

One of the regular weekly things that we used to do as a family was watch ER. I guess I shouldn’t say “as a family” because it has really been Mrs. Enthusiast and my oldest sitting in the family room with me watching the show. Over the years the cast has changed and the quality has risen and fallen but it has been a show we have enjoyed together. During the last year or so we have gotten away from watching it, until last night that is. It was nice to sit around and watch some unrealistic show with the two of them.

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No poker last night. I had a meeting that didn’t get over until 9:00 and after watching I was in relaxation mode. And even though I may be the Razz King, my other kingdom is in the land of relaxation. I have the innate ability to relax anywhere as well as the ability to take a nap. If these paid well I would be rich.

So it is Friday the 13th. Many people have a fear of this day and will not travel because they know they will have an accident or some crap like that. Millions of dollars in business is lost because people don’t go out on this day. But how did this day come to be feared?

One belief is that it has biblical roots. The crucifixion took place on a Friday, though I can’t say it took place on the 13th, and thus Friday holds a special place in the history of Christian beliefs. There was also the last supper. The 13th guest to arrive was Judas and if you remember your reading, he was the one who betrayed Jesus.

There is also a Norse myth about 12 gods having a dinner party at Valhalla, their heaven. Loki arrived uninvited as the 13th and arranged for the death of Balder by poisoned arrow.

But one of the big reasons for the belief, in my opinion, comes from The date October 13, 1307. King Philip IV and his army went on a raid of the Knights Templars. He charged them with various charges like homosexuality and blasphemy and had them tortured and killed because of the power they held.

Go here if you would like to find out more about Friday the 13th.

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I will try to play the donkarama tonight:

Friday Night Blogger Donkament
Full Tilt, at 9pm EST
$1+1 REBUY NLHE
password = donkarama

I wont be there at the start but should be there before the re-buy is over. After that I’m planning on some Razz tourney action and maybe a NL tourney. We see what happens after that.

And don’t forget about the Big Game on Sunday. It is sure to be a good time and is part of the BBT.


Have a great weekend.

Some Times People Get Pissy at the Tables

Seat 9: pokerenthusiast (735)
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [2s Qs]

It is folded to me in the SB and I push vs. smokkee. With my chip stack I think this is acceptable considering he’ll have to call off 35% of his stack to call.

2 orbits later

Seat 9: pokerenthusiast (715)
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [Ac 9s]

I push with the blinds at 50/100 vs. smokkee after it is folded to me in the SB. Smokkee gets upset. Says he’ll call with any 2 cards.

Next orbit.

Seat 9: pokerenthusiast (715)
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [Ac 9c]

It is folded to me in the SB and I push vs. Smokkee. He calls with JT. Flop is 4d 3c Jd. Turn is As. River is Tc and I’m done.

Did I do any thing wrong with the hands I played? Any raise I make is going to commit me anyway. Looking through the hand history I see that these are the only times I had raised his blind. Should I just fold my blinds because he has done well in some big tourneys? He is a good player and I am a donk but hoy says JT should never call a raise so I must question his play.

In reality I’m sure he thought I was playing at him but I wasn’t. I’m 50/50 with the first hand vs. a random hand, 61/39 vs. a random hand in the second and 63/37 in the third. And vs JT I’m 58.5/41.5. Short stacked I’ll Take those odds.

As for the rest of the Mookie I never got going. I had some nice starting hands but they never hit One example was getting AK suited and completely missing the flop. I make a continuation bet and my opponent comes over the top. I put him on a pocket pair and fold. This was the theme for the night and it never stopped.

I did se more flops which was a plan of mine. My VPIP was running low I made an effort to get into more hands. Before I got short stacked I was running around 21% so I’m happy with that.

The Dookie was another example of why HORSE should not be a turbo. I chipped up in Razz and continued to move up in the other stud events. By the time we were through the first round I had 3200 chips and lead the field. By the end of Omaha I was up to 3800 and read to dominate. I then took a big hit when my opponent hit trips on 7th street to beat my two pair during stud. It cost me a ton of chips because bets were at 150/300. I won a few more hands and got back to 3200. I then went card dead for a little while and lost a big chunk in Omaha. I stayed alive to the final table and got knocked out in 6th. I really like HORSE but the turbo version makes it a game of card catching.

**************

I worked on the SNG challenge a little last night and cashed in 3 of 5. In one game 4 players were knocked out by the 6th hand. I went on to take it down without much trouble.


I went and bubbled the next 2 when the chip leaders kept doubling up the short stacks I made the mistake of getting involved when I shouldn’t have. I turned it around in my last 2 by taking a 3rd and a 2nd. In the last won I hit a big hand when we were down to 3 players. I get 99 in the SB and I push my 3100 chip stack into the BB and button limper. The BB calls with K8 and the button calls with KQ. My 9s hold up and I’m a huge chip leader. A couple of hands later I get AA from the BB. UTG is all-in for less then a bet and the SB calls. I raise with my aces and put the SB all-in. He calls with 45 and sucks out and ended up winning in a series of unfortunate events for me.

I looked up the guys sharkscope numbers after the game and has an ROI of -38%. Now I see why he called with 45.

The Mookie and My New SNG Challenge

Tonight is Mookie night so be there on Full Tilt at 9:00 PM. Go to private tournaments and use the password vegas1 if you are up for a good time.

I’ve kind of started my next sng challenge but have only played 4 so far. I started with about 20 buy-ins for the 6+.50 turbo games on Full Tilt. Now playing the turbo games may make it a bit more of a luck fest but I like the speed to which the games advance and I can take advantage of some of the weak play many of these players employ. Variance will be a key issue for me to deal with so I hold the right to change to regular sngs at any point.

The object will be to move to the next level once I have 30 buy-ins at the original level. If I drop back below 30 then I move back down. When I achieve 30 buy-ins at the new level I will move up again. Rinse and repeat. This is going to take me a while because I don’t have a lot of time for per right now but it gives me a nice pathway to follow.

The breakdown goes like this.

Start with $118
From $67.5 - $201.50 play $6.50 turbo or $5.50 regular sngs.
From $201.50 - $372 play $$12 turbo or $11 regular sngs.

If I get higher then $372 in 100 sngs then I will move to the $22 sngs.

Does this make any sense? It is a way to move up and take shots without bleeding the bankroll dry. We’ll see how long I can grind me some sngs.

So far I’ve cashed in 3 of 4 with 2 2nds and a 1st to move my sng bankroll up to $151. I’m hoping to move up to the $11 level before this weekend but I’m not sure if I have the time to put into it. If things go well I can crank out some sngs on Friday.

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As far as the Battle of the Bloggers, I’m sitting in 37th. Not the best showing but I’ve played in 2 of the 4 events. If I’m lucky I’ll play half of the events on the schedule so unless I make some final tables I’m going to continue to back peddle.

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No silly story about my past today. I’m to busy to think about it.

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes

Speedy Enthusiast’s shoulder must be feeling better. Sunday she was playing waffle ball in the back yard and last night she practice and was throwing the ball without to much trouble so I is good. After practice she said it hurt a little but I think its just some carryover from when she injured it two weeks ago. It must be nice to be young and to heal fast. Overall it was a good practice because I think we will have a few girls who will be able to throw strikes and a solid infield to throw out runners.

Softball Enthusiast had practice for her in-house team as well last night and it went ok. There is a huge difference in the talent level of the players who are playing travel ball and the ones who don’t. I think it will be good for her to get some pitching in but other then that it will be a challenge. Only one other girl has played on her in-house team and the rest of the players are well behind. The other coach and I have a lot of work in front of us to bring this team together.

The sad part of this is that my son had to endure sitting through 2 practices back to back. This wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t so cold but he is a trooper and got through it mostly unscathed. He did have an accident just before then end of practice when he didn’t get to the bathroom in time but we didn’t tell anybody. And wet pants in cold weather id never good so it worked out well that practice was over.

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Since this is story-telling week, I will bring another episode of stupid things in the Poker Enthusiast life.

You remember the first time you got drunk. I’m not talking about a good buzz or getting a little goofy but when you drank so much your head was spinning. (Scooby Doo intro inserted here)

October my junior year was an interesting time. I wanted to be part off the in crowd and was for the most part. It was soccer season and soccer players went out on Friday and Saturday nights. We drank and got stupid because we could and it was expected. This Friday night was no different.


It started with my buddy Bill who’s mom just happened to buy us a couple of 15 packs of Stroh’s Beer. Stroh’s was the first to offer the extra 3 beers when buying a 12-pack and lord knows that 2 high school kids couldn’t get by on only 12 beers.

We take off from my house and start driving around at about 6 PM. By 6:30 we find the road party and start drinking like fish and having a good time. We’re luck enough to have about 2 dozen cars sitting on the old gravel road filled with plenty of friends just having a good time. By 8:30 my 15 pack is done.

I really don’t remember drink all of those beers and I probably didn’t. But one thing for sure is that however many I had was to many. Bill made me get in the car because he had to pour me home. On the trip down the road I asked him to stop so I could take a leak. I started to run back to the party and fell right on my face. This was a clear indication that it was time to go home so I complied to his wish.

When I got home my mother was glad to see me. A normal Friday night was much later then this so being home at 9 was a nice change. I sat in one of the chairs in the living room and talked about the evening. As we were talking I was leaning on my right hand on the arm of the chair. I was felling dizzy and I actually fell left while leaning right. With all the dexterity I had left I managed to catch my self and make a smooth move, saving grace, and just switched the hand and side I was leaning on. It was obvious she hadn’t caught my slip because I’m way to smart to be caught.

She asked if I had been drink and of course I couldn’t lie. I had a couple of beers just to be social. But now it’s time for bed.

Being that I had never been through this before I had no idea what was to come. As I climbed into bed and laid my head on the pillow I knew I was in trouble. The room was moving, the bed was tilting and I couldn’t tell which way was up or down. I rolled over on my side and hurled my guts out all over the side of my bed and floor. The I rolled back over and tried to fall asleep.

My mother came up and dragged me into the bathroom. The ice cold floor felt like heaven in my delirium and as I drifted off into an alcohol induced semi coma, I thought the last thing I would ever do again was drink.

When the train that went by our house every morning blew it’s horn at 6:00 am, I peeled open my eyes to a sunburst of pain and agony that must mean death. Crawling across the floor was harder then any 2 a day practice I’d ever gone through and I slowly made my way back to my bedroom. My mattress was laying on the ground, cleaned up by my wonderful mother, so I climbed on top and covered my head with my comforter that I somehow missed the night before. But the lingering smell of alcohol induced vomit was still in the air so I made my way down stairs to the couch to die.

When my mom got up in the morning she didn’t ride me to hard. All she required was for me to take the mattress outside to air out and to get ready for my game.

We were playing the 6th rated team in the state at 2:00 and I felt like crap.

Around 10:00 I made my way back up stairs to get the mattress outside. It took me an hour but I got it done so I prepared for the game with my first hangover in my pocket and headed to the field.

Coach was pissed. Not just at me but the whole team. It seems that all but 2 guys were nursing hangovers of various levels and we were going to pay on Monday. I had the privilege to take the brunt of his wrath and was benched at the start of the game. I played goal keeper so this meant I wouldn’t see any time unless the other keeper got hurt or sucked so bad he had to put me in. I ended up playing one of the best games I’ve ever played.

After the first quarter we were down 4-0. Coach screamed from the other end of the bench and I ran into the game. I don’t remember much other then I dove a lot and stood on my head for most of the game. I even got an assist when I punted the ball to the right winger on one bounce and he put a shot into the left corner. I’ve seen pictures of the game but none of it is really left in my brain.

The next morning I had breakfast with my dad. He kind of empathized with my plight but marked it up as a learning experience. In the end I had to take the class over many times because I would continue to get failing grades from time to time. But none of them were as bad as the first.

Blowing Chunks and Other Crap Including Surf's Contest

Man walks into a bar and says to the bartender:

Man: I want the biggest coldest beer you’ve got and I want it now cuz I deserve it…and I want it in a frosty mug.

The bartender goes and fills up a frosty mug and gives it to the man who slams it down in no time at all.

A few minutes later the man says:

Man: Bartender…I think I want something with a little more kick but still tastes good”

Bartender: I’ve got this bottle of tequila that everyone seems to like…it tastes good but has a big kick.

Man: No…I don’t think so…every time I drink tequila I blow Chunks.

Bartender: That can’t be good…maybe you are allergic.

Man: No...Chunks is my dog.

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I was on the way home from work the other day and heard something interesting on the sports radio show I was listening to. They were talking about accidents they had at different times in their lives and it degenerated to times they had crapped their pants.

This is my story.

When I was in my early 20’s I was playing ball almost every night of the week. I had a routine that included showing up to the ball park about an hour and 15 minutes before the game. This gave me time to eat a couple of hot dogs and down a soda before I would start getting ready to play. Eventually I would hit the bathroom to eliminate an un-needed materials left in my body so I would be free to play the game un hindered.

On this particular day, I arrived late to the ball park. I started my routine a little late and at game time I had not had the chance to relieve my self. We were the visitors and thus we had to bat first.

About the 2nd pitch to the leadoff batter I realized that a bathroom break would be good but I was on deck. When I stepped to the plate a few pitches later I thought everything was OK. No gut churning anyway. On the first pitch I send a line drive to right center field and I tale off down the baseline ready to make the turn toward 2nd base. The ball split the outfielders so now I’m planning on going to 3rd. As I hit 2nd base, I have to stretch a little and we have a problem. A little squirt comes out of my ass an I coast into 3rd with a stand up triple.

Here I am, standing on 3rd base with a squirt of crap on my ass. I eventually scored and I ran to the bathroom bow-legged and drop my pants to find a mess. I wiped my ass and threw away my underwear and got back on the field just in time for the bottom half of the inning.

More useless crap about the Poker Enthusiast.

*************************

I played no poker over the weekend. It was kind of nice to get away and not have to worry about grinding out a small win. In many ways, I think this up coming ball season will be good for me. It will make me concentrate on my poker game more because I wont be able to just jump on the next one. This is something I was doing well with but got away from over the last couple of weeks.

This may be a hard week for me to play. I have meetings on Wednesday and Thursday and getting home in time to play either the Mookie or the Riverchasers is going to be hard.



Either of these would be good.