Searching and Searching

Found a couple of jobs that might fit. The best looking one is about 5 minutes from home. It is for a major company we all know so chew on that for a while.

I have started playing Ikariam with a group of people from work. This caused me to get Waffles, IT and Riggs involved. Anyone else wanting to give it a try jump in at let me know. We have an alliance that kicks butt...wellkicks a little butt. We are growing and will offer protection and advice. You can go to our external alliance page here.

Have a great day.

Monday

Since the demise of my life as I knew it, I have actually play a small amount of poker. Nothing amazing but with the limited amount of bankroll I have, anything in the positive direction is a big thing.

We’ll start with the Poker Stars blogger thing.

I played in two events, one of the hold’em events and the 8 game rotation. The hold’em event was going well until I had an issue with one of my children. I lost focus and made a play at the big stack on the BB. I was the SB and it was folded to so I raised it up. I had not played a hand in about three orbits so I figured a little steal would work. I had 94 suited so when he re-popped me I should have folded. But I make a comment in the chat about me not playing a hand in a while and then push my stack in the middle. It could have been a re-steal by him so I though he could fold. He felt AT was good enough to call off 2/3 of his stack but I hit a 4 on the flop…it was good until he caught a T on the river. I’m not sure I could call a re-shove with AT but he did and he won.

The mixed game went well until the bets started getting huge and then it became a matter of getting hands at the right time. I didn’t. I do know that I really like triple draw and made most of my chips during that part of the rotation. The part that killed me was having a nullified while holding the nut flush draw and nut straight draw. I caught none of it with my numerous outs and left silently.

So, I have been playing a little on Lock Poker and forgot there was another level of terrible play. Players calling big re-raises out of position with T8 off suit…things like that. Anyway, I took advantage and won a small MTT, about 350 players. Its nice to win but I find my self distracted. I really need to stay away for a while more. To much life getting in the way of smart play.

So being Monday, the only day I work this week, I want to say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Moving On

We had an ice/sleet storm during the night but other then that it was just another Monday. But it wasn’t just another Monday…I was now a part time employee and on some levels I felt a sense of betrayal. Considering the hoops I have jumped through for the company, I think my feelings were justified. Anyway, traffic sucked and I arrived about 30 minutes late to work…not a great start.

I checked my emails and headed to the production meeting like every other Monday morning…it is not every other Monday.

I doodled on my notebook and took some notes. This meeting took longer then most and when it was through, I had to write a couple of emails and get some information put together. I went for a walk around the plant and walked with an unfocused gait. I’m wasn’t sure why I was even there.

I worked my way through the day and prepared to leave when I got a call I was waiting for. It was one of our sales guys from the east coast…near waffles…So I told him I couldn’t talk because I’m now an hourly employee and I’m off the clock…25 minutes later I hung up the phone and headed home. Giving away time for free…that will get me somewhere, someday.

Tuesday I went to city hall and the county health department to see what kind of programs they had for underemployed, overweight, thin haired men and their families. Pretty much a waste of time for now. I also called the mortgage company…because we are in good standing there isn’t anything they could do at this time. But if we start having problems they can come up with a plan to help us work through it. They took note I called and said it was a smart move…If we had waited until after we had problems it would have been harder to do anything. I guess having a credit score in the 800s has advantages?

Yesterday I ran a conference call with a customer in New Mexico. The General Manager was actually at the customer’s facility while I sat in the conference room by my self…I wasn’t actually alone…I had waffles on IM.

I’m struggling with the concept of managing a department as a part time employee. I have no initiative. I’d rather sit at my desk and play Ikariam.

Well...

Working through the myriad of issues in your life is a large part of what defines you as a person. The reactions, both good and bad, at the point that the issue becomes real is a moment of truth and our experiences in life move us down a path that is often sloped and strewn with obstacles. Then it is just a matter of keeping our balance or stumbling on the impediments in our way.

My problems are my own and I sometimes spill them on the canvas of this blog. Sympathy is not needed and though empathy fits, it doesn’t bring a solution in most cases.

It started on Thursday morning last week. It was a typical day at work except for closed door meetings with employees on an individual basis. And being a small company, work got out fast that one of the customer service people was getting let go. Them it was a production employee followed by some job responsibilities being moved around. It looked like everyone was meeting with the bosses and everyone was on edge.

I went into the office with the General Manager and the President like I have a million times before. The conversation started with what had happened to this point and what some of the changes meant to me. Then they let me know I was going to be moved to part time starting the next Monday…two days ago.

I took it about as well as I could. I don’t really understand how I can be a manager and be part time but whatever. It wasn’t a total surprise that things were happening but it was a surprise that it hit me. They gave me the rest of the day off to think about the offer, ironic considering they are trying to save money, and I left a little while later to think about my options.

I basically got fucked. I lost my insurance and 40% of my pay. I am expected to do everything I did before and I might have made more money on unemployment when you look at the gas savings. I write this today as two other employees fly to a customers place for a meeting which pisses me off even more.

So that’s my life in a nut shell right now.

Merry Fucking Christmas.

Love This Movie

Stupid comedy at moronic level.

The Season is Here

Christmas time is here and we started the yearly routine on Friday night as we brought up the numerous containers of holiday cheer. One of the girls had a friend over so we had an additional able-bodied person to help work through the minefield of ornaments, light stings and nutcrackers strewn about the house. By bedtime, we had the tree up and most of the cursory items in place. The only things we didn’t have in place were the outside decorations.

Saturday came and as usual, I was out of the house with Softball Enthusiast around 10:00 and headed to pitching lessons. It was a good day because she has moved onto a couple of new pitches and worked on the proper way to throw them without killing her self. She has a long way to go but she has been working really hard at improving her game and wants to put her self in a position to play varsity as a sophomore. She isn’t there yet but I think it is a possibility if she continues to work they way she has been over the last couple of months. She is to the point where throwing strikes with her fastball just happen because her mechanics are tight. This allows us to work harder on her other pitches and should speed up the progress with she will need to achieve her varsity goal.

So in the afternoon I started to put up the outside lights. Started means I was to cold to stand on the ladder with the wind pulling any warm I had in my body. I did get the light bulbs changed to red and green but the ones hanging from the gutters will have to wait a couple of days.

Sunday I took Lauren to practice in the morning and returned home just after the start of the Bears’ game. I was glad to be inside watching the game instead of outside…except that I had to go hang green stuff outside after half time. I also put up a few of the lights but I really didn’t want to climb the ladder. I am a puss. I made it back inside for part of the 2nd half and got ready to leave for Softball E.’s game. Yes I know it is winter time but her team is playing a winter league in a huge building in towards the city. She didn’t pitch and was 0-2 hitting but drove in a run and smoked the ball both times in their 3-2 victory.

We arrived home around 7:30 and watched one of the Harry Potter movies as we ate our late dinner. Another weekend flew by as we move closer to the end of another year. It has been a tough year but I am thankful to have a family to spend time and do things with.

That Spunky Waffles

Poor waffles…nobody gives him any respect until someone calls him out for what he is. Here is a quote from the tables on Full Tilt.

Maniac57: !!!@bags
Maniac57: mother$#!$ers
Maniac57: cumswillers
jennyho1: shut up you pus infected cumbubble anal wart

Dealer: Maniac57 wins the pot (5,167) with 7,5,4,3,A
Dealer: jennyho1 finishes in 81st place

Maniac57: wheeee
jdinner: lol
Maniac57: Anal Fart
Maniac57: anus
Maniac57: horses &&%@
jennyho1 (Observer): still snivellin cry baby?
Maniac57: pink lips
Maniac57: gg jenny
jennyho1 (Observer): a grown baby, how pathetic
pokerenthusiast (Observer): cumbubbles come from spitters
Maniac57: cumbubbles and straws

Maniac57: was jenny talking to me?

If he cashed the tourney does it count as a money shot?

Have You Met Ralph?

It started out as a typical Friday night except for one thing…I was the first night of my drinking career. To say it was the first night isn’t truly correct. I had imbibed beers before and just the week before I was on my way to a my first over indulgence when I have the fortunate experience of going to McDonald’s for a Cheeseburger instead of staying at the road party that was busted 10 minutes after we left. That was a sobering moment. Anyway, this the story boy meets drunkenness.

Bill and I had two 15 packs of Stroh’s, one for each of us and since he was driving I had a head start. It wasn’t long before half mine was gone and we had only been out about an hour. We drove around and finally met up with some friends on Green Acre Road. It is one of those roads that is a few miles long with only one or two farmhouses sprinkled along the side of the road. It was a great place for us to hang out and I don’t remember ever being busted there.

So it is still early, maybe 8:30 pm…the sun had gone down and it was a nice evening in early October. I had a good buzz going and pushed it until the point of being stupid drunk. I can recall closing the back door of one of my friend’s car while his hand was there…you know how hard it is to open a car door when someone has their hand stuck in it? Anyway, I probably drank about 10 beers in the span of an hour and a half or so and it was catching up to me fast. Bill said it was time to go home but I rejected his plea. This was fun, my mind was muddled and I needed another beer. After some protesting, I finally gave in and jumped into the car to get a ride home. About 300 yards down the road I insisted on stopping so I could take a leak. My real intention was to run back to the party and have some more fun. He pulled the car over and I did my best to act coy…easy to do when you are drunk…and turned to start my jog back to the party. Within two steps, I was face first into the ground. I had my pants unzipped as part of my plan and I may have peed on my self…don’t remember for sure because I was laughing so hard.

Bill drove me home.

I walked in the door and my mom was watching something on the tube. She commented on how early it was as I sat down in the chair across the room from her. I was hammered out of my gourd. She asked if I was drinking and I admitted to having a couple of beers. As we talked, I propped my elbow onto the left armrest to try to steady my misbalanced body. I tried to follow the conversation but my mind and body was having an issue with maintaining focus. As I sat in the chair, leaning on the left armrest, I started to fall to the right. Nevertheless, my expert instincts held up as I deftly caught my self and smoothly switched to leaning on the right. I was in complete control…there is know way she knew I was hammered. A few minutes later, I excused my self and went to bed.

After taking more time then usual to take off my cloths, I slid into bed feeling the weight of to many drinks. I knew I was going to crash quick and I was ready for the slumber. But, a strange thing happened. When I laid my head down I was greeted with a feeling of unbalance. I wasn’t sure how to cope with a room that seemed to be falling, or tilting or maybe both at the same time. I rolled over on my side hoping that getting comfortable would help me get through this strange affliction that had attacked me…but I was wrong.

I’m not sure if my mom heard me heaving but I let loose with everything right there on my bed and on the floor. When I was finished I rolled over the other direction and fell asleep. At some point I was woken by my mother dragging me into the bathroom…maybe I walked/crawled…don’t remember. She threw a towel at me and I wiped off the puke off my face and curled up into a ball on the cold tile floor in my bathroom. I think I used the towel for a pillow.

When I woke up to day light, I went back into my room to see that everything had been cleaned up. I can’t imagine that it was fun cleaning up alcohol induced vomit off of a carpet but there was no way I could have done it that night. I grabbed a blanket and crawled as deep under it as is possible to try and drive the throbbing heartbeat out of my head. I can remember think that I was never going to drink again.

Sometime later I grabbed my mattress and took it outside to air out. It took me 45 minutes to get it from my room out into the late morning breeze. I had 20 minutes to get some food and head to the high school for my soccer game. It was time to move on.

I Smell Something

Independence is a major milestone in the life of a child. Being able to dress ones self and be responsible for various small tasks builds a child’s self-esteem and pushes them towards dependability. But there are flaws in the process as they grow into their role in their growing responsibility.

Being in a household that has both parents working, my son (7) and middle daughter (12) have one day a week where they have to be home by them selves for about 20 minutes or so. This isn’t a big deal, they know the rules and follow them pretty well. So yesterday, they get home and Speedy E. goes up to her room as normal and Baseball E. goes to get a snack. He has a slice of pizza left over and decides to warm it up in the microwave, something he has never really done on his own. He goes upstairs and asks his sister how long to let it cook and she said 30 seconds. He heads back downstairs and fires up the machine. Apparently, 30 minutes is not the same as 30 seconds because he turned it off when he saw some smoke starting to come out of the microwave. We think it ran about 5 minutes before it started smoking but we are not sure.

House smells like smoke a bit but we opened some windows and it seemed to so the trick. We talked Speedy about not being a couch potato and to actually act like a baby sitter. No blood, no foul.

So I was home for about 15 minutes before I had to head back out the door. I saw there was a letter from my high school so I opened it up to check out the news.

Back in the day when my gut wasn’t the size of a basketball, I use to play basketball. I was ok but nothing great…I just had some mad jumping skills. Yes, white men can jump. Anyway, during my junior year we went to the state finals and eventually, our team became kind of an icon in our town. Well that was 25 years ago and the school is going to honor the team in a ceremony before the varsity game on January 30th, 2009. I guess I will get to see how bad my body has broken down in comparison to the rest of the guys I played with back then. They are also having an alumni tourney the following day. There is now way I will play that because I will probably have a heart attack the second time running down the court. I wonder if I can still dunk?

Blogger Fun

This should be fun.

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

All bloggers can play in this exclusive online poker tournament.

Registration code: 589358

Its Not a Whirlpool

Poker seems to be warming back up to me. I have done a little dabbling at Lock Poker and it reminds me of my early days of playing online.

When I started out, I first played for real money after filling out a survey and having $5 put into my account at Noble Poker (This is when I started this blog). I went in with the idea that I would try and grind it out but not worry if I lost it all because it was free. I started with the >02/.04 limit tables and would grind out 37 cent sessions and had a stop win gap of $1. I bought in for 60 cents and had a stop loss of 40 cents. It was small time poker but I stayed focused and before long ground it up to $10. Then I was up to $17. In a couple of weeks, I had a bankroll of $25 and was living high on the hog. I played my first SNG when I hit the $30 level and moved into the $75 zone. Without to much trouble. I started taking random shots at this point, random meaning I started to play a $5 SNG now and again. Anyway, I found they had a jackpot SNG program where you received $300 if you could finish in the top 2 of 5 straight SNGs. I hit it on my first 5 and the rest is history.

Within a few months I had money on Stars, UB, Pacific, Full Tilt, Party and Sun Poker. In all I had a couple of grand sitting out there and started to take a random withdraw now and then. I’m sure a lot of it had to do with pure luck but I made my start without ever depositing a dime out of my pocket.

So here I am again. Sure, I have a little money on Full Tilt and will continue to increase my bankroll there, at a snails pace, even if I don’t play considering the few people who signed up through my affiliate program. Anyway, I will try to regain the old magic from days gone yore by playing at Lock Poker for a while. The biggest question in my mind is whether or not I can go back to grinding for a while…maybe for the next few months. I truly a tourney player at heart and even though I have yet to fail to cash in the double up SNGs, I know playing them to rebuild a workable bankroll will be a grind. If I stay within my bankroll management restrains.

Would I consider going back to Full Tilt full time?

Sure but with the rake on the low level SNGs, trying to work it back up might be more then I am willing to do right now. It will be better for me to slowly build my roll there, $5-$10 per month through my affiliate money then to play $1 SNGs with a 25 cent rake. So I think I’m done with Full Tilt for now. I will miss it and I will still rail some of the time…I may even buy into a random event here and there but I think it would be silly to leave the deal money at Lock Poker alone.

So what about my new found killer of family time? I played one hold’em tourney and didn’t cash or even make it very deep. I had a workable stack but blinds were at the 250/500 level and I look at AK suited in the BB. Early position player raises to 1900 and a middle position player calls. I have 5700 and see over 4K in the middle. The initial raiser has both of us covered and the other player has 2200 behind. I look at my price to call vs. what I have left and realize I will probably have 3-1 or better odds to call anything post flop so I go ahead and push. I figure I’m against a pocket pair and maybe a strong K and realize the big stack will not fold no matter what. He didn’t and the middle position guy called also. My chance to triple up is here and I see 77 and KJ. I question the KJ calling but the big stack had the 77 sow I have 5 outs to take the lead…but they don’t come.

I jumped into a double up SNGs and grind out a cash and also started a PLO tourney. I hit a big hand early and went dormant for a while. As we approached the final table I knocked out a few players and hit the final table as the chip leader. Dormancy struck again and missing a few raised flops left me in the middle of the pack with 4 players left. My run ended when I flopped two pair and was open ended but lost to a turned flush.

So not a huge score but the grinding has began.

@&#%*&% Morons

Well things seem to be moving forward a little in regards to my dad’s estate. But let me back up a little and walk you through the process.

My father passed away back in February.

My sister is executor.

I have two stepbrothers and two stepsisters.

One stepsister was given $1 as her part of the inheritance.

My stepmother died 13 and a half years ago.

Stepbrother 1 had not seen or talked to my father since his mother’s death.

Stepbrother 2 talked to my dad at random intervals totaling maybe 12 times or so since his mother’s death.

Stepsister 2 talked to my father often until she divorced and moved away, leaving her children with her ex-husband and giving up her rights to them. This pissed my dad off and he said he would never talk to her again.

My sister and I take care of all funeral arrangements.

We fix up the house, my sister more then I, to get it ready to sell.

We get stuff ready for garage sale.

My sister informs steps to come to the house to get anything they would like to have.

They never come.

My sister, acting as executor pays all the bills, takes care of lawyer stuff.

My sister, as executor asks for 15K compensation for her executor duties plus hours of labor and mileage. I think this is a little high but not to terribly high. My calculations came to about 11.5 but I’m not going to argue over $3500 split between 5 people.

We are ready to disperse money in November. Two of the steps hired a lawyer to argue the executor fee after they hired the lawyer to hurry up with the payouts. There is still one bill outstanding so we will have to hold back 10K in reserve.

A new court date was set for December 4th.

Steps lawyer says they will sign off if my sister lowers her fees to $7500. She counters to $12000. About where I thought it should be.

They prepare an order to have the money released.

My sister makes a deal to send each of us 10K until everything else gets worked out.

Fucking morons fighting about 1K each. They will spend that in there lawyers fees. Fucking idiots.

Have a nice day.

Sticking My Toe In the Water

Well I stuck my toe back in the water and it is tepid at best. Playing on a very short bankroll is frustrating as hell after having a few years of taking shots when I want. Anyway, being the glutton for punishment that I am, I decided to play some online poker at Lock Poker. Let me tell you, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

When I opened the poker client, I found it easy to navigate after a bit of thought. It wasn’t long before I opened a PLO tourney and watched as an agro donkey build up his stack only to give it away time and time again. I was the happy camper when he doubled me up a couple of time but saw my hopes dash by his brilliant play when he called my re-raise with his 367T rainbow vs. my AAKT double suited, The Q92 flop could not have been better for me but he knew he would hit his 6 and 7 on the turn and river so he called my push and caught up.

One thing I noticed was a deeper payout structure. I don’t recall the exact structure but they pay a few more spots then lets say some of the other poker site out there today. This can be good for some but I would actually like to see it pay a little more to the top finishers. Over all it isn’t to bad.

After looking around a while, I went to the SNG section and saw a few things that would be great for an action junky. They have some kamikaze SNGs that require you to push every hand. What a thrill for the action bloggers out there. The also have some lightning tourneys where everyone must ante 250 chips each hand and thus the pot is huge to start. Not a bad idea but you are all in within 4 hands because you start with 1000 chips. But my favorite part was the double up SNGs. Have the table receives twice their buy-in. I played 4 or 5 of these and have yet to fail to cash. Now they are a bit of a grind but I think they are an easy bankroll builder for the smaller bankrolls.

They also have a few guaranteed tourneys including a 250K. But many of the guaranteed tourneys were re-buys so you have to check the fine print before starting one.

For the FPP players out there, they have gold chips and gold cards that you can earn during your play there. You use there chips to buy into other tourneys, kind of like free rolls, where you can win some cash if you make a deep run.

The only draw back that I saw was when I signed up for one tourney, the table didn’t open. I could tell that the tourney was progressing but I couldn’t get to my table. I sent a quick email to support and then logged off and back on. The table was there but I had missed a number of hands before I was finally on my table. The good thing though was that support sent me an email right away suggesting that I log off and back on to fix the problem. I can think of some other sites where I wouldn’t have gotten a response for hours or even days. I’m sure Lock Poker is looking into fixing the bug and will eliminate the problem in the near future.

My overall impression is very solid. The traffic as between 5 and 6 thousand so not real high but there seemed to be enough for a lower level player like me. I’ll give it 4 out of 5 as my recommendation because of the one issue and that I think they need to add RAZZ to the mix. So if you are looking for an online poker download, try Lock Poker.

A Little Meat

Happy Hump Day.

My head feels clear again. I am ready to jump back into the waters full of various Pisces. But I will probably abstain for another month just because I need to prove to my self that I can overcome the addiction that has cause many late nights of frustrating results.

I got caught in a virtual argument with a vegan yesterday. Well it wasn’t an argument…It was more of a statement against a letter that was posted. It talked about this person’s life style change to become a vegetarian and the process that was involved. I thought it was a good account of the thought process until this person started to talk about Commandments in the bible and what they did or didn’t say about eating. Now, if I remember correctly, there are 10 Commandments in the bible and none of them has anything to do with food. One of the analogies that the writer used was how there were animal sacrifices but then the lord came down and died on the cross so the sacrifices stopped…and that meant that God didn’t like the animal sacrifices. I think he missed the point about why Jesus died on the cross. Anyway, he also talked about having a dog and couldn’t imagine eating his dog. Now there is no comparison with eating a big juicy steak and eating leg of dog.

Lets start with cows. They are raised to produce products we can eat. They are not a domesticated animal. They are the same as corn that grows in the field. They have no will. They are happy if they have food to eat but don’t have any understanding of anything other then reproducing and eating.

Now dogs are domesticated. But, if you look at the purpose of dogs you will realize they are working animals. Their meaning to us has changed based on centuries use as a companion but there is one thing…Dogs show affection and we respond to that affection. But, do they really love us or do they love the fact that we are the ones who feed them. I love my dog but it would be just as happy with someone else if she was getting a regular meal and some affection.

I left a comment for the vegan blogger who posted this story and she made a comment that did disturb me a little.


Thanks for your comment.

I don't believe that, because an animal was raised to become "meat," it's ok to kill it. Africans were once raised to work for whites. I don't believe that's right. Simply because a group can control another, that doesn't give them the right to do so.

Now I don’t recall anything that every said that Africans were raised to work for whites. I do recall that people were forcibly taken from their homes and made into slaves, but they were not raised to do such. However, using this logic, should we not have used horses to pull carriages…I’m sure the horse would have much rather have sat around eating grass in the field. No, animals have no will…they make all of their decision based on instinct. The horse pulls the wagon because it knows it will get oats and an apple when it is done. Not because it wants to pull it. We as people push the cart because we make the decision to move it from point A to point B.

All of this being said, I don’t like cruelty to animals. I think someone who hurts an animal on purpose should be hurt in a similar fashion. But I think that slaughtering cattle is fine because it is a crop, not unlike corn. As long as they are not being tortured I think it is ok.

I’m not sure why I ended up here…making a statement. I think that standing up for something you believe in is a great thing. But to place burdens on others because of what they believe is wrong. We can all just agree to disagree.

Barking at the Moon

I think the world of WOW is read to really go main stream considering what I saw last night. I saw a commercial for the new expansion, Wrath of the Lich King, on ESPN. I guess I didn’t realize the target audience for the WOW would be watching highlights from the weekends football games. So if the people at Blizzard are convinced that spending large sums of money during a NFL recap show to pimp there product, then I must be doing the right thing by playing.



Ozzy fits right in with his eloquent speech truly inspiring me to want to run to the store and purchase the latest expansion. Who wouldn’t be driven by the clear and concise dialog the flows from his mouth…like music to my ears. Maybe the should have used Bark at the Moon as back ground music.

My Inner Geek

Knowing your geekish tendencies is important in the grand scheme of things. I have no problem with the fact I played Dungeons and Dragons when I was a kid…hell, just the other day my son pulled out my container of various die and asked “Dad…what’s this?” I answered, “Why that is a 20-sided die.” I have a whole crap load of the various utensils of destruction needed to play the game…I still have my copy of the Monster Manual, Players Handbook, Dungeon Masters’ Guide, Monster Manual 2 and even the Deities and Demigods book. You never know, maybe I’ll want to get the stuff out and play again. I am content with my inner geek.

So you ask why I would bring up D&D? I guess because I’ve been playing WOW and actually enjoy playing. I guess it should be a surprise that I like the game and even though I can’t seem to keep the monsters off of waffles as well as I should, it is a fun little game. And if you break it down, it only cost about 2 cents and hour to play. 90% of the online poker world should think about that because they would lose less money if they paid money to play a game where that can’t win anything back.

I played for a few hours…like 15 hours over the weekend. I have 2 characters going and mailed some silver pieces to my 2nd character, An Orc Warlock, so that he could afford some other things. My Undead Warrior is doing well and is up to 20th level. I have found that some of these quests need multiple players to get them done without fear of death so maybe I can convince a few people to give it a try.

As far as poker goes, I played in a Bodog free roll the other day. I don’t count that as playing because I didn’t put any money up. Anyway, the play was horrific, even for a free roll and I lost interest after about 2/3 of the field was gone. I had a workable stack and I think the structure there is pretty good but I didn’t like the software at all. There seemed to be stalls and hiccups and I wasn’t always sure where I was at during a hand. I’m sure I could get use to it but while I’m on hiatus, there is no need.

Is There a Return in the Future

Well it has been ten days since I started my hiatus. I spend the long evenings looking at the screen of my laptop…I look and wonder what it would be like to slip my toe back into the waters of online poker. Is it the draw of the game…Is it the draw of the competition…Is it addiction…Am I just a loser that has nothing better to do with my time? I am a lurker. I watch friends play to fill up the empty space left by my exodus from online poker.

Actually, I’ve been playing WOW and having a blast. I hooked up with waffles the other night and watch him kill things in one shot that would take me much longer to kill. I guess being a 70th level Undead Rogue has its advantages. Anyway, I have leveled up pretty good, 16th level, but I’m running out of time on my free trial. I guess I’ll have to run to the store and buy it so I can waste more time until my hiatus is over. Hell, the cost of the game is much less then my monthly juice/rake so it is all good.

I played live last Friday. I wasn’t going to play because I was short of funds but I made a deal to trade some Pay Pal money for the buy-in and went on my way. It was a $35 buy-in with $5 going to the house for food and drinks and $10 going to a bounty. We had three full tables of various skill levels with the typical calling stations and agro lagtards. My first table had a nemesis sitting two to my left. He thinks A4 is a great hand to call two raises with and over plays junk all the time. There was also my old boss, worldpoker05 on full tilt, who is very tight and a number of players that I’ve played enough to have good basic reads of them.

First couple of orbits I played tight until I found AK in latish position. I raised 3x to 150 and was called my nemesis. The flop was QT3 with two spades and I fired a continuation bet of 200 into the pot of 375 and he called. He could have either the straight draw or a flush draw as well as either or pairing the Q and T. I he is a good enough player to fold a whiffed pot so I know he has a piece of it. The turn brings me an off suit J giving me the straight. I thought a bit and tossed out 250 into the pot of 775. I was trying to feign weakness but he just called. At this point, I hope he has two pair and because I know he will call an overbet for value. The river is a 7 and I tank a bit. This is a bounty tourney so I want his bounty chip but will he call a shove or even a small bet. I shove hoping he thinks I missed the flush draw and he folds. He later said he folded T9. To bad an 8 didn’t hit the river.

Shortly after that hand I was moved to the TV table. We watched the Blackhawks game in between hands. Anyway, It didn’t take me long to realize that most of the players like to limp and see flops so I opened up my range a bit and began to make raises. I won the blinds with T8, A7, A5 and 53 before someone re-raised me. I actually had a hand with AQ but folded after a couple minutes of thinking. That didn’t stop me though. I raised with Ax and bet at a Kxx board and took it down. I also came over the top of limpers a few times and enjoyed watching them slam their cards in the muck as I pulled the chips in to my stack. Before I knew it, I had 13K while the next biggest stack had maybe 3200. By this point the blinds started to mean something and I continued to put pressure on the players. I asked players there chip counts and raised half there stack over and over again. Nobody played back at me…until a shorty pushed after I,,,limped…with AQ suited. I knew he would have to push with the blinds coming and wanted him to commit his chips. His A7 was no match. As we got ready to move to the final table I made one call that was very questionable…well it was actually dumb. A shorty pushed for less then the SB and I called from the SB position. The big blind pushed over the top. To 2025. I was getting about 1.6 to one to call while holding 56 suited. I was looking at busting two players for about 10% of my chips stack. Really I was playing against the raiser and I figured him to have a big ace so I was close to the right odds minus the shorty. I made the call and was happy to see that the raiser had pocket 2s. The shorty had me dominated with his 75 but the flop came and gave me a 6 to take the lead. I was gold until the river when a 2 hit and gave the stack to the raiser. I guess it was the wrong play but it almost worked.

At the final table I was an average stack…maybe a bit above. Anyway, it was tight as the blinds were getting huge. In one hand, my nemesis limped from early position and it folded to me in the BB. I checked blind and we saw a flop of 544. I announced ”I guess I should look at my cards” and checked. He made a pot size bet and I came over the top for all of my chips. He tanked a bit and folded JJ face up. So as a good sport I turned over my 82 off suit. He went on major tilt and bled chips for the next 30 minutes. I got a couple of high 5s but I knew I would have to tighten up. And that killed my game.

I was never able to get much going and players folded to my raises because they knew I had something when I raised. The real problem was the short stacks and idiots trading chips back and forth. We didn’t lose anyone for an hour and fight though I might, I could gain any traction. I finally pushed on the bubble and got called by the big stack. Yes I missed the cash and a chance to replenish my online bankroll a bit.

The bluff was a huge thing in may ways. It hurt me a bit tonight but all of those players will remember it. I can use that when I have a hand…and I will.

Pimping Bodog

Play this.

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And Now, the End is Near...And So I face, The Final Curtain?

I’m taking a break.

I had good intentions of getting back into the swing of things but life sucks right now and spending time writing just isn’t in the cards right now.

I had to take the majority of my bankroll in a pair of transfers for cash that left me far short of my comfort zone and proceeded to waste most of it trying to win a seat for the FTOPS Razz event. It wasn’t a bad beat that knocked me out…it was the twisted humor of the junk kicking game that I love to play.

Over the last 14 months, I have spent almost $2500 of my live bankroll paying for softball equipment, hitting and pitching lessons and the fees for my daughters playing on their traveling teams. I had to take money out of my on-line roll to take care of some more of these things and now have crumbs.

I need to do one of two things…learn how to win more money or find a better job so I don’t have to go into my bankroll to pay for these things.

A tilted exposé of my run could be seen shortly after getting knocked out on the bubble of the razz qualifier if you opened up the SNG I was playing in with all but the last 3 dollars of my bankroll. Like a fool I ran AK into KQ when the table idiot shoved on my 4x raise knowing I was committed to the pot…maybe I give to much credit saying he should know I’m committed…I call and the “no withdraw god” hits him with a Q on the river to send me home.

I talked to my wife about replenishing my roll after everything is completed with my dad’s estate but that probably is the wrong thing to do. Maybe it is time to step away from the game…to do things with my time other then sitting in my chair with the TV on playing cards until midnight or later all the time.

I’m frustrated by the fact that I spent all this time building my arsenal, most of my live roll came from on-line, and then gave it away to the point I cannot play comfortably anymore. It was my choice to spend the money on my children and would never want to deprive them of things that I think are important for them to have, but…it just sucks.

Last night was a failure in bankroll management. I shouldn’t have played the $55 qualifier but I had cashed in it 4 of 5 times in the past and was trying to use it to get something workable to play with. I wouldn’t have played the Razz event…I would have taken the tourney dollars and grinded my roll back to something playable. The right thing to do would have been to start playing some $2 SNGs and work it up slowly but I fell victim to my vanity.

I don’t have disposable income so unless I can turn this around quickly, I will be done. I have a couple of buy-ins left and will try to get it turned around but only after taking a day or two off. Then I either turn it around or I have to get some ad money to start over.

I do get a little money from ads but not much. I have it deposited into a bank account that we use for Christmas and other things. I’ve always tried to keep the ad money separate from the poker money so I could see what is going on with my game.

Maybe I’ll just play free poker and learn to push 94 off suit pre-flop and cheer about winning 10 million free chips.

Fiction is Good for the Soul

I’ve had a problem lately…I seem to be on non-blogging blogger. I understand that making a commitment to the blogging community places a burden of responsibilities on anyone who steps up and takes the challenge, and that I have been less then conforming to the true standards needed to be considered an active blogger, but I will try to improve the efficiency of my efforts as the cold winter months start to impede upon outside activities. I guess you could say I would rather be doing other things while the weather is still nice. That and work has been busy.

I gave the few readers of this blog a brief glimpse at a project I’m working on a week or so ago. It is my first attempt at fiction and you had the privilege (I guess it was a privilege) of reading the first few paragraphs of a literary masterpiece. Well, maybe not masterpiece but it will be a short story by the time I’m done. I’m looking at 15 – 20K words but it could be bigger or smaller depending on the amount of effort I end up putting into the story. I will give a brief synopsis for those of you who care about such things.

It is a story about a 45 – 55 year old man who is heading to Las Vegas for the first time. He is a math teacher at a…wait…maybe I’ll just show you some reviews.



From Ramblings of a Mad Man

“The heart breaking tragedy of a man on a quest is both moving and inspirational. Moving in that I had a bowel movement after reading the first couple of paragraphs and inspirational because it inspired me to head to the bathroom instead of crapping my pants.”

From JJ is OK

BLOW


So as you can see, the reviews speak louder than words…well they are words so they speak the same as words. You can see that one review says the story is inspirational and they both have moving concepts in the review. I am very inspired by these reviews and will continue to try and live up to the expectations that my readers have set for me.

I’m guessing that this will take me a couple of months at most but being a procrastinator…anyway, I will post it when I’m finished writing it…or not.

Feeding the Rush

Awake in a Dream

I opened my eyes but a cold grayness was all I could see. I wasn’t sure where I was at or how long I had been there but I knew one thing…I felt like shit. Reaching for my eyes, I felt an excruciating pain run from my right shoulder and down my arm that threatened to send me back into unconsciousness. I slowly fought off the desire to slip back into the darkness and tried again to reach my eyes with my other hand. What I found was a bandage that seemed to be wrapped around my head.

I sat there for a minute and collected my thoughts but my mind seemed to wander. After a while I started to pull off the gauze wrapped around my skull and felt them pulling at some unknown injury around my vanishing hairline. As I pulled it off of my eyes I was blinded by the brilliance of light that emanated from whatever room I was in. The light brought a new pain but one that slipped away as I slowly adjusted to my environment.

The room was certainly well lit and I looked around to try and understand where I was located. Reality struck home when I saw wires hooked up to me and an I.V. sticking out of my arm. Now all I had to do was figure out what happened to me that caused me to be sitting in a hospital bed.

As I searched my mind the beeping from the heart monitor came into my consciousness. The continuously repeating sounds didn’t help me focus on the situation at hand. I started to push my self up, ignoring the pain in my shoulder, when the door to my confusing life opened. She looked like an angel in her white nurse’s outfit and I hoped she could shed some light on what happened to me. But as I started to speak she asked me to lie back down and try to relax. The words I tried to speak wouldn’t come as I realized I couldn’t talk.

Fear bubbled into a froth as I started to panic. I tried to get up from my bed but my legs didn’t work and my useless right arm failed me for a second time. I heard her scream something as I continued my quest to break free of my confines. In ran what had to be a doctor and I was startled when my angel jumped across my chest and held me in place. I felt the needle slide slowly into my arm as the doctor did what he could to get me to calm down. As the drug began to take affect, I slowly lost the battle and succumbed to the sleep inducing injection.

To be continued…

Ten Things

1) Man do I feel better.

2) It is amazing the amount of stress we put on our selves when it isn’t really warranted.

3) What can be worse as a father then having your daughter go to her first high school dance and remembering how you were as a high school boy?

4) Why is it that when you find that old CD that you bought for one song, there is a scratch on that song?

5) Does anyone see the resemblance of the bitchy neighbor lady in Sarah Palin?

6) Does anyone see the resemblance of your high school friend’s hot mom in Sarah Palin?

7) Can someone tell me why the price of gas is going down even though our economy seems to be turning into a pile of shit?

8) Does anyone feel sorry for all those companies who granted bad loans?

9) I don’t have a problem with the people getting loans they couldn’t afford because they were doing what the system allowed them to do…and they also have to pay the price.

10) I don’t like bailing out the idiots who over sold there products because it would got them big bonuses that they can now retire on while everyone else fixes their mess.

A Couple of Weeks Away is Good For the Soul

The burden of having a job has beaten me down like a rented mule. I have been inundated with work for the last couple of months with the culmination coming to a head today. I write this as I wait for the ISO auditor to come and finish the second day of audits for my company’s re-registration…a necessity to do for so many corporate businesses now days. Anyway, I will be glad when it is over and I can go back to reading blogs at my desk.

They other day I sat back and evaluated my year as a poker player. Let me tell you, I was not impressed with my results. I had losing months for the first 7 months of the year and even though I have not had to re-load, I got to the point where I was lower than any time previously in the history of my online game. So from there I dug a little deeper and found one big thing that stood out. I played three tourneys this year for the cost of $966, which I never have been able to do in the past. Now I made the choice to play in these events so I must take the consequences of my actions. But if you take them out of the picture, I have had a solid year. I’m still down a little overall but am lose to getting unstuck…and that is a good thing.

My typical summer swoon hit again this year but I had a play to lesson the affect this time around. During early August I went on hiatus and actually went into the client software and forced a mandatory leave from the game. I think it allowed me to refocus but more importantly, it allowed me get away from playing while life’s distraction interfered with my decision making. I know that my work life was intruding on my game and I came to the realization that I have to separate the two if I want to have success.

Now this wasn’t a new revelation for me but something that I have to remind my self of from time to time. But I can see it in my patience at the table and my results as of late have indicated such. Overall, I looked at my life time results that indicate that I cash in 20% of the tourneys I play. I truly think this is a little high because it means I might be trying to slip into the money instead of doing what I have to do to get deep. Anyway, the number I like is the percentage of final tables I have reached. I’m at 11.5 % during the last two years of my play with almost half of those being top 3 finishes. This is more of an indication of how I have been playing overall. The breakdown of the top three spots show me getting 1st place 33% of the time, 2nd 42% of the time and 3rd 25% of the time. Not bad but I would like a few more first place finishes.

So when I look back I realize that variance plays a part in my results and that 2 years of data show that I can make money playing the game. Does that mean I wont go broke? No it doesn’t. If I don’t maintain my bankroll management skills I could go broke at any time. I have a few friends who think I play to small and don’t take enough shots but I think they are wrong. I think playing above my bankroll will lead to more frustration if I go to the wrong side of variance for a short time while taking those shots. I am happy grinding it out until I get to a level that won’t deplete my bankroll if I lose a couple of tourneys.

Along these lines, I had a talk with a friend the other day. He was complaining, again, about the beats he has been taking and the frustrations he has been feeling about the game poker. This gave me the idea to look at his results and I found something very interesting. He has been cashing in 19% of the tourneys he plays. Sounds like a great number but when you dig a little deeper you will see the problem. He final tables about 8% of the tourneys he plays, which isn’t bad but he has had very few top 3 finishes…more specifically, he only reaches top 3 about 1% of the time. This is a glaring weakness in my mind so I took this information to him over the weekend. We spent about an hour going over the details and the biggest suggestion I had for him was to spend some time playing SNGs. I told him to challenge him self to play x number of SNGs and to track his results over time to see if he can improve his results in a final table situation. I know that my history of SNG play helps me when I get to the final table so I think it can help him. Anyway, I also told him to evaluate the payout structure when he gets to the final table and compare his place equity to the payout. Basically I told him that he needs to quit folding to the final table for en extra few bucks and try to get into a position to get deep.

So there you have how things are going for me…have a great day.

I Take a Week Off and See What Happens

I’m going to actually write about poker today. It has been a while so stick with me as I bring back a long forgotten aspect of my writing to the top of the page.

I arrived home last night around 10 minutes to 6:00 and chatted with the family as I always do. My oldest had a sore back, the middle child was as usual and my son had soccer practice at 6:00 so Mrs. PE was leaving with him. They had already eaten supper so I threw in a frozen pizza and turned on the Cubs game for an evening of baseball. At around quarter after 6:00 I opened the laptop to see if anyone was playing and made the decision to jump into the PLO tourney that had just started. I figured I would kill some time in between pitches and see if the lemurs could out catch me yet again.

The craziness of this tourney is such that two players at my table had 14K within the first 30 minutes of the tourney. I have one of them tagged as an idiot and I am more than willing to play some connecting hands against him because he doesn’t know how to fold.

Seat 4: numainville (14,472)
Seat 6: pokerenthusiast (1,635)
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [Ks 8c Kc 9h]
numainville calls 60
pokerenthusiast calls 60
*** FLOP *** [Kh 3d 7s]
pokerenthusiast bets 360
numainville calls 360

I figure he is drawing to a straight or maybe flopped two pair.

*** TURN *** [Kh 3d 7s] [6c]
numainville checks
pokerenthusiast bets 1,080
numainville raises to 2,160
pokerenthusiast calls 135, and is all in
numainville shows [4s 6d Ad 3h]
pokerenthusiast shows [Ks 8c Kc 9h]
Uncalled bet of 945 returned to numainville

Now I understand he has a big stack but only has two pair and is drawing dead.

*** RIVER *** [Kh 3d 7s 6c] [Qs]
numainville shows two pair, Sixes and Threes
pokerenthusiast shows three of a kind, Kings
pokerenthusiast wins the pot (3,510) with three of a kind, Kings
*** SUMMARY ***

This was a nice way to get started. And on the very next hand I find something else I wanted to play.

Seat 2: FLOP_IT ONCE (13,498)
Seat 4: numainville (12,837)
Seat 5: Vedda76 (1,068)
Seat 6: pokerenthusiast (3,510)
Seat 8: XBooZeRX (9,323)
Seat 9: usmctop (4,277)
XBooZeRX posts the small blind of 30
usmctop posts the big blind of 60
The button is in seat #7
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [Jd Ts Jc 9s]
FLOP_IT ONCE calls 60
numainville calls 60
Vedda76 calls 60
pokerenthusiast calls 60
XBooZeRX calls 30
usmctop checks

I love this type of hand in PLO. It gives you a lot of options but you can also get away from it.

*** FLOP *** [6c Ad Jh]
XBooZeRX checks
usmctop checks
FLOP_IT ONCE checks
numainville checks
egasVedda76 bets 360
pokerenthusiast calls 360
XBooZeRX calls 360
usmctop folds
FLOP_IT ONCE folds
numainville folds

I have middle set but figure I’m ahead of these guys. I’m not ready to commit all of my chips yet because I don’t have the nut and there is a scary draw.

*** TURN *** [6c Ad Jh] [Ks]
XBooZeRX checks
Vedda76 bets 648, and is all in
pokerenthusiast has 15 seconds left to act
pokerenthusiast calls 648
XBooZeRX calls 648

I’m getting 3-1 on a short stack and 4-1 if the last players calls. I have 4 clean outs to the straight may have boat outs. Not sure if this was the right call here.

*** RIVER *** [6c Ad Jh Ks] [Qh]
XBooZeRX checks
Gopin2nd has returned
pokerenthusiast bets 2,442, and is all in
XBooZeRX has 15 seconds left to act
XBooZeRX calls 2,442

I hit the nut and get called.

*** SHOW DOWN ***
pokerenthusiast shows [Jd Ts Jc 9s] a straight, Ace high
XBooZeRX mucks
pokerenthusiast wins the side pot (4,884) with a straight, Ace high
Vedda76 mucks
pokerenthusiast wins the main pot (3,384) with a straight, Ace high
Vedda76 stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 8,268 Main pot 3,384. Side pot 4,884. | Rake 0
Board: [6c Ad Jh Ks Qh]
Seat 5: Vedda76 mucked [6d 6s 3c 5s] -
Seat 6: pokerenthusiast showed [Jd Ts Jc 9s] and won (8,268) with a straight, Ace high
Seat Seat 8: XBooZeRX (small blind) mucked [7h Ac 3s Qc] - two pair, Aces and Queens

As it turned out I was sitting with gold.

I stayed out of harms way for a while until I found AAxx and called from position. This was another hand with a big stack guy who like to push chips around.

Seat 2: FLOP_IT ONCE (16,031)
Seat 4: brc77 (16,110)
Seat 6: pokerenthusiast (7,258)
pokerenthusiast posts the small blind of 50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [As Ac Ts 7h]
FLOP_IT ONCE raises to 350
brc77 calls 350
pokerenthusiast calls 300

I really just want to see a flop. If it hits me well I stay.

*** FLOP *** [Ah 9h Qd]
pokerenthusiast checks
FLOP_IT ONCE bets 575
brc77 calls 575
pokerenthusiast calls 575

I have the best hand but many cards that will kill me hand. I call in hopes that the board pairs.

*** TURN *** [Ah 9h Qd] [Kc]
pokerenthusiast checks
FLOP_IT ONCE bets 2,875
brc77 folds
pokerenthusiast has 15 seconds left to act
pokerenthusiast calls 2,875

I’m thinking he has a possible straight but maybe betting a draw.

*** RIVER *** [Ah 9h Qd Kc] [9d]
pokerenthusiast checks
FLOP_IT ONCE bets 8,625
pokerenthusiast calls 3,458, and is all in
Uncalled bet of 5,167 returned to FLOP_IT ONCE
*** SHOW DOWN ***
FLOP_IT ONCE shows [3h Kh Ks 3c] a full house, Kings full of Nines
pokerenthusiast shows [As Ac Ts 7h] a full house, Aces full of Nines
pokerenthusiast wins the pot (15,541) with a full house, Aces full of Nines

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 15,541 | Rake 0
Board: [Ah 9h Qd Kc 9d]
Seat 2: FLOP_IT ONCE showed [3h Kh Ks 3c] and lost with a full house, Kings full of Nines
Seat 6: pokerenthusiast (small blind) showed [As Ac Ts 7h] and won (15,541) with a full house, Aces full of Nines

His set of kings was unlucky and he did have the heart redraw. I’ll take the chips.

As the rest of the second hour went by, I bled some chips and started the 3rd hour with just under 12K

Time started to slip away. I was looking for some hands to play that would help me chip up but they avoided me. I slowly drifted down into the 8K zone before seeing a free flop from the BB.

Seat 3: TwoPairTim (8,736)
Seat 4: sdrapak (24,230)
Seat 6: CommanderDan (4,791)
Seat 7: pokerenthusiast (7,971)
CommanderDan posts the small blind of 500
pokerenthusiast posts the big blind of 1,000
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [Kh Qs 4d Jd]
TwoPairTim calls 1,000
sdrapak calls 1,000
WideOn has 15 seconds left to act
CommanderDan calls 500
pokerenthusiast checks

I can work with hand I’m hoping to hit good.

*** FLOP *** [Tc Qd 5s]
CommanderDan checks
pokerenthusiast checks
TwoPairTim checks
sdrapak bets 1,000
CommanderDan folds
pokerenthusiast calls 1,000
TwoPairTim calls 1,000

I’m not running from this hand
*** TURN *** [Tc Qd 5s] [Kc]
pokerenthusiast checks
TwoPairTim checks
sdrapak checks

Free cards are good.

*** RIVER *** [Tc Qd 5s Kc] [Kd]
pokerenthusiast bets 4,000
TwoPairTim raises to 6,736, and is all in
sdrapak has 15 seconds left to act
sdrapak folds
pokerenthusiast calls 1,971, and is all in
Uncalled bet of 765 returned to TwoPairTim

I hit the nut and get paid.

*** SHOW DOWN ***
TwoPairTim shows [2c Ad Js Jh] a straight, Ace high
pokerenthusiast shows [Kh Qs 4d Jd] a full house, Kings full of Queens
pokerenthusiast wins the pot (18,942) with a full house, Kings full of Queens

He waited to get his money in behind. I’m not sure I fold if he bests the turn.

So now I have chips again and we approach the final table. I have good reads on the players at my table as well as a couple from the other table so I just want to be in a position get deeper…and I’m there. As we get to the final table bubble, I bust the 10th place guy and have 35K as the final begins.

Early on I limp in with a nice connecting hand.

Seat 3: pokerenthusiast (35,858)
Seat 6: oraslerapas (84,334)
Seat 7: ilvolpe (12,004)
Seat 8: WideOn (42,104)
ilvolpe posts the small blind of 800
WideOn posts the big blind of 1,600
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [Jh 9c Tc Jd]
unit15 has 15 seconds left to act
unit15 folds
EVIL YODA folds
CR_ROC folds
pokerenthusiast calls 1,600
tylaur folds
oraslerapas calls 1,600
ilvolpe calls 800
WideOn checks
*** FLOP *** [Ac Qs Kc]
ilvolpe checks
WideOn bets 1,600
pokerenthusiast calls 1,600
oraslerapas calls 1,600
ilvolpe calls 1,600

I flop the nut. Now my hand is vulnerable to combinations of two pair but I want to build up the pot a little so I only call. I probably should have raised.

*** TURN *** [Ac Qs Kc] [3d]
ilvolpe checks
WideOn bets 1,600
pokerenthusiast calls 1,600
oraslerapas calls 1,600
ilvolpe calls 1,600

I still have the best of it and wait for a little more money to get into the pot…should have raised it here.

*** RIVER *** [Ac Qs Kc 3d] [9s]
ilvolpe checks
WideOn bets 4,800
pokerenthusiast has 15 seconds left to act
pokerenthusiast raises to 31,058, and is all in
oraslerapas folds
ilvolpe folds
WideOn folds
Uncalled bet of 26,258 returned to pokerenthusiast
pokerenthusiast mucks
pokerenthusiast wins the pot (28,800)

Now that I have the nut I re-pop it. It might have been better to call and see if someone else puts money in.

The big stack has been on a mission to bust everyone and has accumulated over half the chips in play. I have not backed off and have chipped up into a nice 2nd place spot but with 100K less chips than him.

Seat 2: CR_ROC (26,728)
Seat 3: pokerenthusiast (73,358)
Seat 5: tylaur (41,859)
Seat 6: oraslerapas (170,055)
oraslerapas posts the small blind of 1,500
CR_ROC posts the big blind of 3,000
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [Ah Ad 7s 9s]
pokerenthusiast raises to 10,500
tylaur folds
oraslerapas folds
CR_ROC raises to 26,728, and is all in
pokerenthusiast calls 16,228
CR_ROC shows [7c Js Jd 5h]
pokerenthusiast shows [Ah Ad 7s 9s]
*** FLOP *** [9c 7d 2h]
*** TURN *** [9c 7d 2h] [6s]
*** RIVER *** [9c 7d 2h 6s] [Qd]
CR_ROC shows a pair of Jacks
pokerenthusiast shows two pair, Nines and Sevens
pokerenthusiast wins the pot (54,956) with two pair, Nines and Sevens
CR_ROC is sitting out
CR_ROC stands up

Now I have the ability to put a hurt on the chip leader. The 3rd place guy has been looking for positions to get involved but only with strong hands…he has been very predictable. The chip leader has splashed around a bit and likes to put pressure on you. My plan was to attack the small stack as much as possible but I received a gift from the big stack and took over the chip lead. From there I turned up the aggression a bit and chipped up to about 140K when this hand came up.

Seat 3: pokerenthusiast (139,586)
Seat 5: tylaur (66,859)
Seat 6: oraslerapas (105,555)
oraslerapas posts the small blind of 2,500
pokerenthusiast posts the big blind of 5,000
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [2d 3s Th Ah]
tylaur folds
oraslerapas raises to 10,000
pokerenthusiast calls 5,000

This hand is as good as any to call a min-raise.

*** FLOP *** [2s 3c 8d]
oraslerapas bets 10,000
pokerenthusiast calls 10,000

Flopping 2 pair is nice. I feel good about my hand but I’m not ready to commit a ton of chips yet. He keeps the aggression going.

*** TURN *** [2s 3c 8d] [4s]
oraslerapas bets 10,000
pokerenthusiast calls 10,000

I now have a straight draw to go with my two pair. I’m probably ahead but I’m not sure…not willing to commit my stack yet/

*** RIVER *** [2s 3c 8d 4s] [2h]
oraslerapas bets 60,000
pokerenthusiast raises to 109,586, and is all in
oraslerapas has 15 seconds left to act
oraslerapas folds
Uncalled bet of 49,586 returned to pokerenthusiast
InstantTragedy (Observer): Booooooooooooooooooooommm
pokerenthusiast shows [2d 3s Th Ah] a full house, Twos full of Threes
pokerenthusiast wins the pot (180,000)

I hit the boat and he pushes into me. I think he needs 88 or 44 to be in the lead because I just can’t put him on the last two 3s. Funny thing is…he folded my re-push to leave him with 15K.

This is about the time I melted down a bit. I doubled each player and eventually the chip stacks were 70K each for the other two players. But then we got to heads up.

Seat 3: pokerenthusiast (168,562)
Seat 5: tylaur (143,438)

Within 4 hands we had all are chips in the middle.

Seat 3: pokerenthusiast (155,562)
Seat 5: tylaur (156,438)
tylaur posts the small blind of 3,000
pokerenthusiast posts the big blind of 6,000
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pokerenthusiast [Kd 8h Ks 2h]
tylaur calls 3,000
pokerenthusiast checks

Check with my kings. Hoping to go after a bigger pot.

*** FLOP *** [Kc Jh 6c]
pokerenthusiast checks
tylaur bets 12,000
pokerenthusiast raises to 36,000
tylaur raises to 120,000
pokerenthusiast raises to 149,562, and is all in
tylaur calls 29,562
pokerenthusiast shows [Kd 8h Ks 2h]
tylaur shows [Ah As 5d Th]

I hit the set and he surprises me by betting. When we get it all in I was very happy to see my lead and even more happy that it held up. A few hands later it was over.

*** TURN *** [Kc Jh 6c] [Tc]
*** RIVER *** [Kc Jh 6c Tc] [Js]
pokerenthusiast shows a full house, Kings full of Jacks
tylaur shows two pair, Aces and Jacks
pokerenthusiast wins the pot (311,124) with a full house, Kings full of Jacks

So there you have it…A brag post about a low buy-in game.

A Wasted Year

The new job was good. I went directly into the small batch department where I filled small batches of paint. But with it being a department of 3 people, I learned to do many of the other jobs and started to learn how to shade paint in short order. Within 6 months I Moved into Quality control to work on random batch sizes ranging from 100 galloons to 6,000. My pay went from $6.44 an hour to 13 in that same amount of time and was ready to move out.

Life was good on many fronts. I was living at my dad’s place, I was making a decent living and I had no real bills to speak of. I started putting $100 a week into savings and easily got by with the money I had left over to spend. I mad made a plan in my mind to work at the new job for no more than 5 years and to continue to put money away for the future. I spent a lot of time that year with my friends from the neighborhood and had some god time along the way. We continued to have are random gatherings and started bowling a lot.

One of the guys worked at a bowling alley. So on weekends we would head out there around 10:00 and loiter around waiting for him to finish up. The alley would close but we would stick around bowling for free until anywhere between 2 and 3am. Most nights we would bring in a case or two of beer and just have fun screwing around. It wasn’t much of a life but we were a pretty close group of friends and didn’t get into much trouble.

One of the things my dad always said to me was ”I don’t care what you do…just don’t get a ride home from a cop.” I broke that rule that same spring…well even worse. It started a couple of years before when I got a speeding ticket. I had no money so I didn’t pay the fine. Eventually they suspended my license. I knew the situation but continued to drive like so many other people out there until I messed up. After I started working I went to the county clerk’s office and paid the fine and figured it was over.

Anyway, I was driving to work one morning and apparently didn’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign. Officer friendly pulls me over and says he’ll just give me a warning but has to run my license first…to make sure I’m not a hardened criminal. My license come back suspended and I am arrested for the infraction. The officer handcuffs me and we talk quietly as we wait for the paddy wagon. I show him my receipt for the ticket but it doesn’t matter. You can straighten it out in court.

Calling dad was the hardest thing I ever did. My stepmom picks up the phone and I tell her the story…she hands the phone to my dad and I repeat the circumstances of my arrest and the phone goes click. She bailed me out 20 minutes later and gave me a ride to work. I found out later that you have to ask for reinstatement and pay a fee to get your driving privileges back so I send a check and whatever form I had to fill out to the state and a week later I can drive again. I went to court and pleaded not guilty and ended up talking to the district attorney about the situation. The charges were dropped and life returned to normal. Stepmom was wonderful through this whole ordeal. She drove me back and forth to work for a couple of weeks and realized that people make mistakes. Dad never talked about it with me.

There wasn’t much direction in my life. Sure I made some money, saved some money and had some friends to hang out with but It was sort of like having a non-existence in a some ways. No real goals, I wasn’t playing ball anymore, I hung around a group of people that for the most part kept this cycle of inconsequential living in perpetual motion. I think the most productive thing I did all year was buy my dad tickets for the Bulls games. There wasn’t much more to be said for that year of my life.

How much more is there...

Back to the Grind of School

I really needed a job and my mom came through. I got a full time job working at a paint factory filling drums full of paint. It took absolutely no skill to do the job based on the fact that two of the fillers couldn’t even spell there name. I would spend hours standing by empty drums, waiting for them to be full. The place smelled like crap but it was a nice income for a summer job. The best part was cashing my check on Fridays. We would head to the liquor and grab a bottle of mad dog or some other crap and guzzle it down before we got to work. The nice buzz would make the rest of the day go by quickly.

That was a weird summer overall. I was living with my dad but I didn’t hang out with any of my old friends. I started hanging out with some people from his neighborhood and it turned into a real routine. Get home, eat supper, hang out for a while, play cards, drink, play stupid drinking games. This cycle repeated endlessly until something cool happened. Jenny came along.

She is the stepsister of my friend Chris and was smoking hot. She was gonna be a senior so was a couple of years younger but who cares. She was smoking hot. She started to hang out with us and next thing you know we were flirting and such. I wasn’t really sure if anything would happen other then some heavy petting because I knew she was going back to Nebraska or what every state it was that she lived. Anyway, the fact she was leaving didn’t deter her but may have given her motivation. We promised to keep in touch but I didn’t keep my end of the bargain.

In August, school started and I went in with an open mind. I had a smaller schedule and figured that soccer would help keep me focused and I think it did for the most part. And to go along with it, the soccer team was much better. The coach did a little recruiting and gave us the ability to compete that season. He also set up a couple of road trips which helped us bond together as a team.

Our first trip was to the Milwaukee area. I have no idea who we played but we spent the night in Kenosha right across the highway from “The Brat Stop”. Now the drinking laws in Wisconsin allowed anyone who was 19 before the end of September of that year to drink so many of the players on the team were of age. So our first act of team work was to walk over to The Brat Stop and check it out. They carded everyone so we ended up buying a few cases of beer and headed back to the hotel to get loaded up. SO imaging this picture…16 guys walking along the highway carrying 4 or 5 cases of beer…now imagine it if you are a cop.

He turned on his cherries and pulled up along side of us with a screech. We were a little freaked but we kept calm as he questioned us along the highway. He asked us all for our IDs and then checked to see who was carrying the beer. Lucky for us that everyone with a case was also of age. He eventually asked us where we were staying so we told him the hotel and our room numbers. He promised to check up on us later. I’m sure he wasn’t surprised when he knocked on the door of “our room” to find someone other than us staying there.

The next day we played another random team and finished our left over beers during the ride back to campus.

Our other trip took us to downtown Milwaukee. We played a local college team and went to a team supper right in the middle of town. After dinner coach says it’s ok if we hang out for a while but to get back early because we have a game at 10:00. 8 or 10 of us head down the street and wave to coach as we go. We found Major Goolsby's and started the evening by drinking fast and hard. At some point we realize we need to start heading back but get sidetracked at some dive. By the time we leave it is 3:30 and we have to walk 30 blocks back to the hotel. We stumble down the street and find a parking lot that offers a distraction along the way. One of the guys pulls on a door handle…it opens…there is a set of keys in the ignition. We all pile in and drive back to near the hotel. As we rumble to our rooms we see a line of sailors outside a door. Now we know sailors get lonely and are more than willing to pay for a little action so it wasn’t a surprise ay all. The Gilbert starts calling them fags and queers because they have to pay for it. A security guard comes around the corner and our coach opens up the door and tells us to get to our rooms. Gilbert continued his assault by yelling out the window but eventually drifts off to sleep.

Morning came and the hangover was heavy. We headed to the game and coach got even. None of the drinkers got a break and he made me play center forward. We lost 7-0 and slept most of the way home.

My focus was gone after the season. I quit doing to classes in November and took a job at the paint factory in January. I had no direction other than working and partying.

Where does it go from here?...

College...Year One

I had to get a job. I had a part time job at the J&L gas station as the edge of town but making $3.35 an hour was going to get me very far. My lucky day arrived when mom said she had a position for me with a lawnmower distribution center that was a client of hers. It would be on an as needed basis but at least 3 days a week…and it paid $6 an hour so I was happy to take on the extra work.

My mom was a manager at a temporary agency and always had menial jobs ready for me to make some money. I never viewed her position as much of a job but now that I’m older, I think it was a good service that she provided. It certainly helped me make a little money at random times when I needed it.

Anyway, my job was working in a warehouse picking parts for lawnmower repair shops in the Midwest. Being the hard worker I was back in the day, I would get a stack of pick slips and bust them out as fast as I could get them done…that is until the warehouse manager bitched at me for working to fast. Warehouse manger is really an overstatement of his title. He was the only permanent employee that worked back there and I was the only one working for him. He spent most of the day listening to music and packing boxes for UPS. He would disappear at random times and smell like dope when he returned. He taught me how to drag out the job so I could be called back the next day. He was a complete waste as an air breather.

This job plus the gas station gig gave me an income to have some fun with for the summer. I have no idea how many concerts I went to, mainly because I was to drunk to remember them all. Anyway, I put away a little money for the coming college life and drifted through one of my last summers of freedom.

When I started school at Waubonsee Community College, I had all intentions of working hard and getting my life started on the right track. I had a full load of classes and tried out for the baseball team that was good for a small community college. During fall practices for the team the baseball coach had a meeting with all the players and asked one big question. “Has anyone here played soccer?”

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to answer that question. I knew there was a soccer team but I really didn’t think I wanted to play. “PE…you went to H-BR…they have a great soccer program…did you play?” My moment of truth had arrived and I stepped up and said ”I played a little” “Great…You’re on the team” he said and my college soccer career began.
The team sucked thus the need for additional players and in all three of us baseball players were volunteered for positions of ineptitude as we had now started being two sport athletes.

I didn’t want to play goalie but the regular goal keeper had broken his are in a drinking accident. With a starting position in the bag I played every game like I have always played everything…to win. This was a hard thing for me with a team as bad as we had. Playing hard was easy but losing like we at first just wasn’t going to work. I pushed my game to levels I didn’t know I had and ended up being the team MVP and getting all-regional honors to go with it. I also made the baseball team…I wonder if there was a connection.

School was also going well with all A’s and B’s except for a C in Spanish. I really hated my Spanish class because I couldn’t roll my R’s like everyone else. I also didn’t like going to class everyday so I did what I had to do to pass...I copied from my neighbor.

As the first semester came to a close I realized one thing…I wasn’t going to be able to play baseball. Playing baseball in college required a time commitment that I couldn’t keep. I needed to have a job for money but there was no way I could work and play so I worked. I still feel like I played ball in college because I did play a bunch of fall ball games and made the team but in reality I never played a meaningful minute of ball.

Not playing ball hurt. The focus I had the first semester disappeared so I went back to what I knew well…drinking. It culminated during spring break when I went on a road trip with a friend that saw me drinking in Fayette, Iowa at Upper Iowa University and ended with a party where we emptied my friend’s dad’s keg. All I really remember from most of this is trying to hook up with the girl I turned into a lesbian and getting shot down after we were bare ass in my buddies bed. She wasn’t out of the closet yet and apparently still had thoughts of being straight. The killer was I didn’t have a jimmy protector and she wasn’t finishing the night without me having one. I just got up, got my pants back on and went back down stairs to grab a beer.

It really sucks when you get shot down and then can’t have a beer. The keg was dry and it was still early. No way was that going to stop me so I took a collection and headed to find a buyer. Some girl, I don’t remember her name, came along for the ride and we found the random drunk who hooked us up with a few cases to get us by for a while. As we headed back to the party, I found out the reason Kim ( I just remembered her name) came along. She was looking to find out what I had to offer and started to go down on me as I was driving. Now most of you men probably know, alcohol, blowjobs and driving don’t really go together…but you also know that there is know way your gonna turn down a hummer. Needless to say, I took the back roads back to the party.

By the time my freshman year of college was over, I had failed 2 classes and needed to go to summer school if I wanted to play soccer my sophomore year.

And it Goes On

It started well. I moved from goalie to midfield because there was a younger kid who was a solid goalie and I was also solid in the field. We ended up getting knocked out of the state tourney in the final 16 if I remember right so that was a let down. Individually, I was 2nd on the team in goals scored in my first season every playing something other than in the goal.

Drinking was just something corn fed kids did back in the day. There was a party almost every Friday and Saturday until basketball started. But being that I had relationship, I kept it in check for the most part. Eventually the miles between us encroached on our personal time with friends and we broke out relationship off.

It didn’t take me long to find someone new. Alcohol seems to have that affect on teenagers and I jumped at the chance to go out with a random girl whenever an opportunity came along. There really wasn’t anyone serious which left me to do basically anything I wanted to do.

Basketball started right after soccer ended and being a senior I figured it would be my year. We had gone down state the year before and we had a shooting guard that we knew could get us a long way. They season was progressing well when I guess I made a mistake. One of the players on the team had a small party at his house on a Friday and when I arrived at Saturday morning practice my coach called me in and asked me if I had gone to the game. I told him I was there for a little while and then he asked me if I had anything to drink while I was there. Now I could have lied and gotten away free as a bird but I told him that I had a couple of beers and went home early. He went nuts and almost kicked me off the team. The hypocrisy of it all is that he walked in on the whole team the year before when we were down state. He kicked out the non-players and told us to keep it down. We had cans of beer all over the room and one of the guys was getting a blowjob in the bathroom. In the end I was suspended for a game but lost about half of my playing time. I took it like a man as while parent questioned why I wasn’t playing as much anymore. Of coarse the season went to pot around this time. Our good guard(29 ppg) blew out his knee and we headed into the post season with no direction. It culminated with a resounding defeat to a team that had never beaten us before…ever…even going back to 5th grade. The best part of the season for me can be stated in one simple way…I got my only chance to dunk a ball in a game and banged it off the front of the rim…in that final game. Still…this white boy could jump.

Most of the rest of my senior year was waiting for the next party. I was tired of going to school and basically quit doing school work. I already had enough credits to graduate and my only ambition after high school was going to the local community college. I arrive at school just in time and skipped 7th period the rest of the year. I think my high school educational experience can be summed up with two words…fucking boring.

I think the biggest problem I had with high school was the lack of challenge a small town school presented me. I could have easily been in the top 5-10 percent in my class but being educated there just didn’t flip my switch. I guess when you take some form test and they say you are suited to be a park ranger and that being a park ranger is the last thing you really want to do…well, you get my drift. But there were a couple of highlights.

Now one of the things many high school students in the U.S. look forward is prom. It wasn’t really that big a deal to me but I knew it would be a great party so I was up for it. I wrote a little something about it so I’ll post it again.

I had made up my mind weeks before that I would ask Kathy. Everyone liked her and even though she wasn’t the hottest thing around, she had a nice body and could hold a conversation. Eventually, after days of procrastination, I summoned the courage and finally asked her. But not without a battle in my mind.

Just walk up and ask her you idiot…You’ve been friends for four years…she doesn’t have a date and either do you…Quit being a pussy and ask her…Christ dude…what are you nervous about…you’ve played soccer in front of thousands of people and you get freaked out about one question…She’s looking at you…walk up to her…one step in front of the other moron…
“Hey Kathy…you have a minute.”

I wanted to go to prom but my chicken-ass self could hardly muster up the courage to ask anyone. Breaking up with Pam was still having an affect on me and my ability to act like a normal teenager. My friends kept giving me shit as they prepared to waste a ton of money on a ritual that creates hope in young men. The hope that they will get laid…or at least a blow job.

Fuck yah, she said yes…I’m not sure if she puts out but I hope I have a shot…Dude…she isn’t an easy mark…put your pecker away and be a good guy…How the hell can I afford this…Maybe mom will throw me a little cash to help out…I’m gonna pull a good one off tonight...Cool, lunch time

Trying to get everything arranged in about two weeks was difficult but it worked out. I went and ordered the tux and Kathy told me what flowers to get. I knew things were coming into place when I got to use my mom’s new Cutlass instead of my 69 Nova that was having issues. We teamed up with our friends Dale and Wendy and made the rounds to get our pictures taken.

This is so fucking lame…I want to start drinking…When is this picture taking shit gonna end…man, Wendy is hot…how does she not fall over when she walks…She is gonna have back problems…wow…Kathy looks hot…I hope I get laid…her dad looks scary…her sister is hot…fuck I’m ready to get laid…finally…lets drink

Back in the day we would drink and drive. It was just what we did back in the mid 80’s and as long as we didn’t get to crazy, nobody seemed to mind. When we arrived at the destination, we finished off the bottles of bubbly and I had a good buzz.

I hope this buzz lasts a while…HAHAHA, he’s way stoned…I wish I had a joint…Night Ranger is so fucking good…My buzz is gone…I’m hungry and we still have another hour at least…he’s getting laid tonight…I hope I do but it isn’t looking…wait…what’s going on…

It was a normal dance except we had to dress up. Everyone still acted stupid for the most part but we still had to pick the King and Queen of the prom.

I know I have no shot…just tell us the winner already…YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME…That fucker is king…I didn’t know kings could be lame ass cock suckers…So stupid…wish I wasn’t on the prom court…I voted for Kathy but she probably wont win…OMG…OMG…I’M AT PROM WITH THE PROM QUEEN…I’M GETTING LAID I KNOW I AM…man I’m hungry…

Going to prom with the prom queen was cool. I always bring it up when I get with old friends because it is kind of like having a status for doing nothing at all. I don’t really care about status but it is fun to mess with my friends. Anyway, we went to dinner after prom and headed home because we had a big day planned for the day after.

Man am I still hungry…that had to be the smallest piece of steak I’ve ever eaten…Should I hold her hand on the way back…maybe I’ll get a kiss…I’m gonna get so drunk tomorrow…I hope I don’t fall of a cliff…she’s cool to talk to but I don’t think she’s gonna put out…At least I got a kiss…Fuck…I know my mom is going to want to talk about this shit when I get home…

The next day we went to Starved Rock near Ottawa. Dale drove his Trans Am and we had plenty of beer and food. The whole senior class sitting out along the river getting drunk and having fun was classic. We almost got arrested when a park ranger caught us swimming in the water back in the canyons but we looked like good kids so he let us go.

Man, mom would kill me if I got in trouble for something stupid like that…You know they would have found the beer…Paul’s knee is fucked up after that fall…He’s done…man I’m drunk…Jesus Dale….open up the stupid windows and turn up the music…Sammy Hagar rocks…I’m gonna put my hand on her leg…She doesn’t mean no…Fuck…What the fuck am I doing…At least I stopped…that could have been really fucked up…man I’m drunk and stupid…Can I ever talk to her again

Nothing ever happened except for me looking like a drunk idiot. After she said no the second time I backed off and regretted being a moron. Nothing ever came of my idiocy and Kathy and I still talked in the hall way and at WCC where we both went to college. I hadn’t seen her for four years. That is until we met at our five year reunion.

It will be cool to see Bill again…Wow, Scott lost all his hair already…Wait, he wasn’t in our class…Oh shit…

“Kathy, I’m very sorry for how I acted the day after prom.”

“That’s OK…If you did it today I would probably say yes”

You have to be kidding me…All this fucking time I feel like shit and she says that…Maybe she’ll put out tonight…Fuck…I don’t think my girl friend would like that…

“That’s funny”

I love that story. I think it reflect how I thought back then. Anyway, the other highlight was going on our senior trip.

As we prepared for the trip, we made the decision to stay alcohol free while down in Orlando. The year before a bunch of the seniors got in trouble and there was talk of canceling our trip because of their mistakes. We didn’t want to ruin it for the classes that followed us. So anyway, I hooked up a quarter bag with a friend of mine and we were ready for the trip.

When we got down to Orlando we picked up some rolling papers and proceeded to make root beer barrels instead of joints. In the end a bubble pipe wrapped with tin foil became our pipe and we had a couple of us had a way of entertaining our selves. Then someone stumbled upon a bottle of rum…if breaking into a motor home and taking the bottle of booze they found as stumbling upon. This got us thinking and we convinced a couple of guys to jog into town and see if they could get some more. Town was 5 miles away but they didn’t disappoint and we spent the next few days hiding it from the chaperons as we got a good buzz going for a few nights. That is until one of the girls did a face plant and busted up her face. We slowed down after that but still had one more big fling in the magic kingdom.

A couple of us used our passes to head to river country and spent the day getting hammered. One guy had never drank before and ended up puking all over the place when we got back to where we were staying…The good times of youth.

In the end a couple of people still got in trouble for stealing shit and couldn’t walk for graduation. I made it through high school and had to get ready for college.

There will be more…

A Little More of My Life

Like I said, nothing more really happened during my Junior year…Then summer time came and a lot in my life changed.

Now that I reflect on the past a bit, I have a little more to add about my Junior year. My dad got re-married on New Years Eve. I don’t really know the significance of the day but I was a real issue for me. But being the good son I ignored the tell-tail signs of self denial and continued to plod through the year.

A couple of funny things happened with my new step family. Is it against the rules to fool around with a step-sister? I’m not really sure but once my dad and step-mom got hitched, my new step-sister quite messing around with me. I remember the first time something happened…we were heading back from one of my basketball games and she put her hand on my leg. I was like an oak tree within seconds and was looking forward to having my cherry taken from me. In the end we never got to far and like I said…once we were technically related, all things stopped. Now she is fat and left her kids to hook up with her dealer. Sometimes things happen for a reason.

So summer comes and I am still trying to get my cherry broken. Getting some stinky finger and some heavy breathing really doesn’t do it but low and behold things change. My other step-sister hooks me up with a sure thing, mainly because I ask her to find me a sure thing. It was a warm summer night and I head to a friend’s birthday party to drink beer and to get laid by a sure thing. At some point in the evening we head off in my dad’s Ford pick-up to Jeter Road and get the action going. In the end I’m sure it was the 23.5 seconds of her life and we went back to the party to drink some more. A little while later we heard sirens and found out one of my friends had rolled his car into a tree so we headed back to my dad’s and continued the night of my first real sexual experience while the rest of the house slept. She was a sure thing and never got tired.

It was around this time that I tried smoking pot for the first time. I knew my step-sisters smoked it and I found there stash one day while everyone else was out of the house. I smoked two bowls and got totally stoned. I was a little freaked when the phone rang because I knew the person on the phone had to be a cop. Anyway, it became a new influence in my life that shaped much of the next couple of years in my life.

I found that summer that I didn’t care about some things as much as I use to care. I still played sports but they were a little less important to me at the time. I never did spend a lot of my time getting high but I continued to party a lot and only worried about the important things…me.

One thing I always tried to do was mind my mother. She was lenient on me in that I could stay out late if I wanted but would always make sure I was home when I said I would be home. If I told her I would be home at 1am then I made sure I was home by 1am. I think she let me get away with this because she didn’t want to lose me and felt by giving me space I wouldn’t push her away. I think she did a pretty good job with me and gave me enough leash to feel free but not enough to hang my self with.

One other thing that happened that summer was meeting up with Pam again. I told this story but I will re-post it because I can.

#9 and #10 In high school I went out with this one girl. We got along great and we were about as serious as juniors in high school can be. Then one day she breaks it off and never gave me any indication of why we could date no longer. Later that year she moved to another town about 15 miles away and I figured that was the end. During the summer that followed she came back in town on many occasions and her and one of my classmates, we’ll call her TC, would stop by and say hi. After a while she started to stop by on her own and we started seeing each other again in some sense. Then she dropped a bomb. The reason she had broken up is because TC had tried to commit suicide because she liked me but I was going out with someone else. This floored me and we talked about how we could continue to see each other if it was going to cause potential harm to one of our friends. This is when I did the most logical thing and asked the school councilor how we should proceed. The councilor knew the situation and said that it was important not to hide it and let her know how we felt about each other. Obvious good advise and we did just that. TC was glad that we told her and everything ended up just fine. I still can’t believe I talked to a school councilor about a problem. The second part of this story only has one thing. TC is now a lesbian and thus I have turned a woman away from men.

Then Senior year started.

Continued again.