And Now, the End is Near...And So I face, The Final Curtain?

I’m taking a break.

I had good intentions of getting back into the swing of things but life sucks right now and spending time writing just isn’t in the cards right now.

I had to take the majority of my bankroll in a pair of transfers for cash that left me far short of my comfort zone and proceeded to waste most of it trying to win a seat for the FTOPS Razz event. It wasn’t a bad beat that knocked me out…it was the twisted humor of the junk kicking game that I love to play.

Over the last 14 months, I have spent almost $2500 of my live bankroll paying for softball equipment, hitting and pitching lessons and the fees for my daughters playing on their traveling teams. I had to take money out of my on-line roll to take care of some more of these things and now have crumbs.

I need to do one of two things…learn how to win more money or find a better job so I don’t have to go into my bankroll to pay for these things.

A tilted exposé of my run could be seen shortly after getting knocked out on the bubble of the razz qualifier if you opened up the SNG I was playing in with all but the last 3 dollars of my bankroll. Like a fool I ran AK into KQ when the table idiot shoved on my 4x raise knowing I was committed to the pot…maybe I give to much credit saying he should know I’m committed…I call and the “no withdraw god” hits him with a Q on the river to send me home.

I talked to my wife about replenishing my roll after everything is completed with my dad’s estate but that probably is the wrong thing to do. Maybe it is time to step away from the game…to do things with my time other then sitting in my chair with the TV on playing cards until midnight or later all the time.

I’m frustrated by the fact that I spent all this time building my arsenal, most of my live roll came from on-line, and then gave it away to the point I cannot play comfortably anymore. It was my choice to spend the money on my children and would never want to deprive them of things that I think are important for them to have, but…it just sucks.

Last night was a failure in bankroll management. I shouldn’t have played the $55 qualifier but I had cashed in it 4 of 5 times in the past and was trying to use it to get something workable to play with. I wouldn’t have played the Razz event…I would have taken the tourney dollars and grinded my roll back to something playable. The right thing to do would have been to start playing some $2 SNGs and work it up slowly but I fell victim to my vanity.

I don’t have disposable income so unless I can turn this around quickly, I will be done. I have a couple of buy-ins left and will try to get it turned around but only after taking a day or two off. Then I either turn it around or I have to get some ad money to start over.

I do get a little money from ads but not much. I have it deposited into a bank account that we use for Christmas and other things. I’ve always tried to keep the ad money separate from the poker money so I could see what is going on with my game.

Maybe I’ll just play free poker and learn to push 94 off suit pre-flop and cheer about winning 10 million free chips.