Saturday, August 23, 2008

Watching the Pole

As I sat there in the stands watching the game with a cold beer in my hand, my friend Kevin asked if I wanted to head to the strip joint. I hadn’t seen Kevin in a few years because he had moved to Green Bay to take a job at a local College. I contemplated the question as I finished the beer, swallowing the last bit of backwash mixed with the chew sitting between my cheek and gum. It wasn’t as if I did want to go but the game was good and the beer was cheep and I will get the same amount of action either way…None.

“Let’s go”

It was only 10 minutes to the place and it sat on the edge of a big mall. I guess it was there well before they built the mall and was grandfathered into being ok to stay there. I don’t remember the cover charge but we bought our first two drinks right away and found a spot near the stage. It was dimly lit and the girl on stage was nothing spectacular. It was strictly a topless place but she could have kept her top on.

When “Brooke” came through the door heads turned as the new girl walked the room. She was wearing a sash that covered nothing other than the area all straight men long to enter. You could tell she was good at the game. She moved from table to table as she sold tickets to win some prize she was raffling off to the crowd. It turns out she has been in Penthouse a couple of times including a girl on girl spread that she had done just 6 months earlier and was raffling off an autographed copy of that issue.

We each bought a couple of tickets as she flirted with us, trying to suck out as much money from our wallets as she could. When she was done siphoning money from Kevin and I she continued on her way as a new girl started on stage.

Kevin made sure I had a drink in front of me at all times. We watched the young skanks dance and talked about everything from theology to the economic impacts of global warming on sports in the United States. A hot but semi chubby stripper was crawling on all fours in a little leather something that kind of turned me on. Then the main attraction hit the stage.

The girl who had been floating around the room earlier was the main attraction. It seems that she moves from dive to dive across the country in a never-ending quest for cash and this place was her current stop. She hit the pole running and the crowd of losers, potential rapists, sexual predators and general degenerates came to life. She really could sell her body and did it with gusto. We tucked a few bucks and had some real fun with this trollop. When it was all over Kevin and I chatted a bit just before she came back by our table.

I was drunk, there is no doubt about it, and in such a state of intelligence I made a challenge to her. If I could get 5 guys from my team to come back with me the next night, she had to give me an autographed copy of the Penthouse Magazine and take a picture with me so I could show my friends. She agreed and I headed out of the place thinking I was king shit…still going home with nothing other than my right hand.

As it turned out, one of the guys on my team got engaged the next night. To celebrate the demise of his manhood the team dragged him to the club and the party was on again. It wasn’t the same as they apparently only have so many strippers in Wisconsin and thus the same group of women were working again. But when Ms. Penthouse came out she saw me and came right over. She sat on my lap and chatted for a while and I introduced her to the poor soul getting married. She gave him a little personal show and came back with an auto graphed Penthouse for me to enjoy. By the end of the evening we were all drunk and stumbled back to our hotel and finished up drinking at about the same time as the sun started to shine.

I really wasn’t sure what I would do with my new prize and figured out the biggest problem I had to face. There is no way my wife won’t find out what went on so how do I proceed? With a team as close as mine, someone would tell a wife or girl friend and before you know it the whole world would know what happened that night. So I called my wife the next day and told her the store as best as I could remember it and waited for the bomb that would explode a few hours south of where I was playing ball. She just said to bring the Penthouse home so we could see it together and left it at that.

Sometime the ass chewing you expect never comes.

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Riggstad said...

OH its coming chief! you sinner!

jjok said...

what's a strip joint?

RaisingCayne said...

Yeah, I'm with Riggs... I wouldn't go assuming you're out of the woods quite yet.

Enjoyed the post PE, nice work on getting the autographed keepsake.