Feeling is the Key

As I get older I see and feel the pain of life everywhere before me. I view examples in all directions as I stumble through this world with a mind numbed stare. I’m not looking with eyes of pessimism but seeing the stark reality of what is happening in the world. These things can be summarized in a few different categories, of which, we deal with in our own way to get us through the days, weeks, months and years of our lives.

Our age is relative to a lot of things and how we react to it has as more to do with how we are feeling than our actual age. And as we get older we run into more physical issues. We suffer through pain from the past exploits of our youthful invincibility and carry the scars through the rest of out lives. The pain I carry everyday reminds me of my youth. It is almost a badge of honor, or maybe it is a badge of stupidity…I’m not really sure which is the correct answer.

Things I’ve seen through my eyes.

As many of you know, my father passed away in February…he was liked by many and did a lot for many people…he died a lonely man. Things in his life tore at him…I could see it in his eyes and his mannerisms. It started around the time my parents got divorced and changed through time. I think he spent so much of his time helping others the last 10 or so years of his life because he had nobody to take care of and felt that it was a failure in his eyes to do differently. I also think he had unwarranted regrets about having a family that was split up by divorce and the turmoil caused by his re-marriage.

Things I’ve seen through my eyes.

My step-father is nearing the end. 2 ½ years ago he was told he would live 5 more years at most. He just left the hospital with heart issues as well as lung issues that are all related to his ailing health. I’m not sure if you are reading this now mom but I know you will…When we went to the Ray’s game in April 2006, I realized then that he would be lucky to make it 3 years. It was something about him having to stop every 100 yards to take a rest that convinced me that the doctor’s time table may have been off. I am sorry for you and I will be here for you. I know that he and I have never been close but what can you expect…he isn’t my father but I will miss him because he is a very good man and has helped me in his own way. Cherish the time you have left with him. You are both in my/our prayers.

Things I’ve seen through my eyes.

The anguish of youth surrounds us through our children. I see it with my oldest daughter who deals with peer pressure that will only increase as she starts high school next week. Do you remember what it was like to make decisions, knowing the difference between right and wrong and doing the wrong thing anyway? I can only hope that the things I have done, both right and wrong, will give my children the ability to make the right choices when it really counts. And please tell the truth when you make the wrong ones because it is much easier to deal with it when we know all the facts.

Things I’ve seen through my eyes

Dealing with self absorbed people is trying on our soul. Their vanity and self aggrandizing ways are like little needles that individually have almost no effect. But over time, these little pin pricks become irritating and soon we are scratching at the discomfort. Eventually, the nuisance becomes a boil that has an ugly head of puss that if left untreated explodes into a myriad of cankerous infections that…well let’s just say it isn’t pretty.

Things I’ve seen through my eyes

I’ve seen the elation of a child as he reaches the end zone for a touchdown and the despair of watching the lead slip away into defeat. Does the look on some ones face when they do something great out weigh the despair you see when they have something tragic happen in their life? Or is it all connected?

Feeling is really the key to life. I have come to the conclusion that as long as I feel then all is good regardless of what I’m feeling. And though I seem to have a bit of tragedy and/or mixed emotions about the near future, I am delighted to be part of everything that comes my way…because not caring is the alternative.


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Watching the Pole

As I sat there in the stands watching the game with a cold beer in my hand, my friend Kevin asked if I wanted to head to the strip joint. I hadn’t seen Kevin in a few years because he had moved to Green Bay to take a job at a local College. I contemplated the question as I finished the beer, swallowing the last bit of backwash mixed with the chew sitting between my cheek and gum. It wasn’t as if I did want to go but the game was good and the beer was cheep and I will get the same amount of action either way…None.

“Let’s go”

It was only 10 minutes to the place and it sat on the edge of a big mall. I guess it was there well before they built the mall and was grandfathered into being ok to stay there. I don’t remember the cover charge but we bought our first two drinks right away and found a spot near the stage. It was dimly lit and the girl on stage was nothing spectacular. It was strictly a topless place but she could have kept her top on.

When “Brooke” came through the door heads turned as the new girl walked the room. She was wearing a sash that covered nothing other than the area all straight men long to enter. You could tell she was good at the game. She moved from table to table as she sold tickets to win some prize she was raffling off to the crowd. It turns out she has been in Penthouse a couple of times including a girl on girl spread that she had done just 6 months earlier and was raffling off an autographed copy of that issue.

We each bought a couple of tickets as she flirted with us, trying to suck out as much money from our wallets as she could. When she was done siphoning money from Kevin and I she continued on her way as a new girl started on stage.

Kevin made sure I had a drink in front of me at all times. We watched the young skanks dance and talked about everything from theology to the economic impacts of global warming on sports in the United States. A hot but semi chubby stripper was crawling on all fours in a little leather something that kind of turned me on. Then the main attraction hit the stage.

The girl who had been floating around the room earlier was the main attraction. It seems that she moves from dive to dive across the country in a never-ending quest for cash and this place was her current stop. She hit the pole running and the crowd of losers, potential rapists, sexual predators and general degenerates came to life. She really could sell her body and did it with gusto. We tucked a few bucks and had some real fun with this trollop. When it was all over Kevin and I chatted a bit just before she came back by our table.

I was drunk, there is no doubt about it, and in such a state of intelligence I made a challenge to her. If I could get 5 guys from my team to come back with me the next night, she had to give me an autographed copy of the Penthouse Magazine and take a picture with me so I could show my friends. She agreed and I headed out of the place thinking I was king shit…still going home with nothing other than my right hand.

As it turned out, one of the guys on my team got engaged the next night. To celebrate the demise of his manhood the team dragged him to the club and the party was on again. It wasn’t the same as they apparently only have so many strippers in Wisconsin and thus the same group of women were working again. But when Ms. Penthouse came out she saw me and came right over. She sat on my lap and chatted for a while and I introduced her to the poor soul getting married. She gave him a little personal show and came back with an auto graphed Penthouse for me to enjoy. By the end of the evening we were all drunk and stumbled back to our hotel and finished up drinking at about the same time as the sun started to shine.

I really wasn’t sure what I would do with my new prize and figured out the biggest problem I had to face. There is no way my wife won’t find out what went on so how do I proceed? With a team as close as mine, someone would tell a wife or girl friend and before you know it the whole world would know what happened that night. So I called my wife the next day and told her the store as best as I could remember it and waited for the bomb that would explode a few hours south of where I was playing ball. She just said to bring the Penthouse home so we could see it together and left it at that.

Sometime the ass chewing you expect never comes.


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Some Good Comments

I want to thank those of you who responded to my last post. There are some great comments there and I think they confirm part of what I was saying but maybe not in the same way.

It is our personal choice to play in any event we want to play and I didn’t mean to diminish any of they events that are out there right now. I really was writing down how I was looking at it from my point of view and how playing in all these events, though fun, can also have a draining affect when they turn into a competition. I personally love the Skills game because I think that my game is well rounded and that I have a chance at running deep at any time. As for the Riverchasers, Mookie and Donkament, or any other blogger tourney out there, they are always a blast and I will always play those at random times because I enjoy the company(I still need to get to a Tuckfard event).

Now to other things.

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I’m out of shape. I guess I could be in shape if looking like a pear is what being in shape looks like. This really became evident last night as I played co-ed softball with my wife. We split two games losing 10-9 and winning 22-8 and had a blast doing it. My hamstrings and ankle were sore by the time the 2nd game started but I worked my way through it and made it home without anything major happening to my physical well being. After taking a shower I iced up both hamstrings and my ankle and actually feel pretty good today. The best part was watching Mrs. PE get on base every time but one and doing a great job in the field. She has not played in about 7 years so W0000000T to Mrs. PE. As for me…I think I was 3-6 with a couple of walks. I popped out with the bases loaded and one out to kill a rally but also had a big 2 out hit to drive in a couple of runs. I wll give my self a grade of C+ overall.

Softball E. ended up her season on the disabled list with two stress fractures on her right tibia. It looks like she played through it for about 4 weeks before we got the right diagnosis. She wore a boot for about 3 weeks and now has an air cast but is doing therapy and has been doing some pitching and fielding work. She should be good to go in another couple of weeks.

Speedy E. has made a 12U travel team in the same organization that her sister plays for. I was surprised when she wanted to try out but as a father I was there cheering her on. She kicked butt and they offered her a spot on the team right away. I have my trepidations about it but she wants to give it a go so I will be right there for her all the way. She had her first practice last weekend and her coach gave her a hitting T and asked her to take 200 swings a day until he says she can stop. She has been in the back yard doing it every day taking her swings like a champ. I was really wondering if she would put in the effort he asked for but she stepped up big time. I even built her a cage so she wouldn’t have to chase the balls all over the yard.

Baseball E. is playing soccer and football this fall. He is so much like me when it comes to playing sports it is unreal. There is no telling how far he will go if he puts his mind to it.

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I played live last Friday night. The structure was terrible but so were many of the players and I eventually cock-roach my to 3rd place. Over all I was card dead in the tourney. The first hand of any significance was during the 5th orbit when I had 45 suited in the BB. Blinds were at 50/100 and I had only played a couple of hand and was sitting with 1525. Three limpers came in before and the small blind called. I figured this was as good a time for a squeeze as any so I throw my stack in the middle. I figured anyone with something good would have already raised and if I get called I will have live cards. A middle position guy ends up calling of almost all his stack with his K6 and I’m in trouble…until I turn a 4 and it holds up. I use this stack to get to the final table where I continue to get nothing for cards. I steal a pot here and there and eventually show one of my steals with my 62. I was hoping to catch a bigger hand soon and get a caller when I push with it. The next orbit I get AT on the button and push only to get a call…by KT. So I have doubled again and look for more stealing positions. I have tilted the guy on my left but he gets a big hand and double up. We get to the bubble and it is folded to me in the SB and I push without looking at my cards. Tilt boy calls for his tourney life with QJ so I flip over my cards to see what I have…Q8 is not what I was hoping for and I get crippled to 800. I really thought he could fold a hand like QJ as I didn’t announce a blind push but he couldn’t. Next hand the UTG player pushes with AQ and the big stack calls with TT and the TT holds up to squeeze me into the money.

The cash game went well as I had 4 players at the table who saw every flop regardless of the betting. I lost a couple of pots early when one guy rivers a 4 to hit 2 pair vs. my KK and another when the same guy called down with a gut shot and hit. I got my money back from him with a turned flush that he called down and a boat that gave him a flush. I also stacked a guy when I flopped a set of 9s and had the nut flush redraw in PLO when he couldn’t fold AAxx. He even called my set and still paid me off. In the end a won a little in the tourney and was up 1 ½ buy-ins in the cash game so it was a good night overall.


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What About Blogger Tourneys

It been a long time…I have had no time to write and little time to play…I took a forced absence by having Full Tilt cut me off for a week and I am starting to get rejuvenated. We’ll maybe not rejuvenated because earlier today I was talking about taking the rest of the month off but I am getting charged up. Maybe it is because Mrs. PE and I will be playing co-ed softball this fall. Anyway, I want to talk about something that I think others might be thinking but are afraid to say.

For years we have had regular blogger tourneys and at its highest points we have had hundreds of players competing for extravagant prized as well as bragging rights. But what I think has happened is that people have taken these fun little game way to serious and thus the problems have occurred. These problems I talk about is burnout and I think many would agree that the bankroll burning events over the last year have caused many to shy away from those games we use to play for the camaraderie they instilled in us all.

The question I ask myself is how do we get it back. I’m not really the high profile kind of blogger to get it done but I think we need to consider cutting off the blogger tourneys for a while…except the Mookie anyway. All of the other blogger events have lost steam in the weeks after the BBT3 and I’m sure some of it can be attributed to the post tourney burnout. Sure, some of it is from summer time and any number of other things but I think if we called off some of the blogger events until maybe October, we could come back recharged and ready to go. Kind of like summer vacation for the blogging world with the Mookie being summer school. I don’t know…maybe I’m looking to deep into something that isn’t really there but maybe we could use a little break from all the nightly events.


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